I was excited last week when Susan Crain Bakos, the author of many popular educational sex-related books and a blog called SexyPrime, presented some thought-provoking and poignant questions to me:

• What frequent sex question that women ask--really makes you want to scream in frustration?
• I read a comment from a woman on your site acknowledging that women are "still embarrassed" to talk about masturbation. Do you think it is easier to introduce the subject (and the practice) if you put the focus on sex toys?
• Do you think a woman can be sexually empowered if she rarely or never reaches orgasm?
• What (aside from masturbation) are the "taboo" sex practices for women--meaning that they won't admit to doing them?
• How do women get in our way when it comes to experiencing a rich, full sex life?
• How important is penis size to women?
• What is women's biggest sex complaint about men? Men's about women?
• And what is coming up for you? Events? Book?

She posted these on her blog on August 21, 2008. Check out the blog
SexyPrime: Supporting, Celebrating, and Empowering Female Sexuality!

Even if for some reasons these topics don't grab you, definitely still visit her blog for a refreshing and entertaining view of female sexual empowerment!

Jennifer Gunsaullus, Ph.D.

Relationship & Intimacy Doctor
Sexy San Diego
www.drjennsden.com

Last week's Wine & Sex Social in celebration of the release of our 100th episode was so great! LOTS of people came out to celebrate with wine, props, and sexual fun facts. Thank you so much to Paula at Tango Wine for facilitating the smooth flow of the evening and my friends who came out in support and celebration. And thank you to you new folks who were a blast to party with! We even had a random couple wander into the bar because the party looked like so much fun. Interesting story - they were friends for a year, dated for four years, and now a year and a half after their break-up, he is woo-ing her to be together again. This was their first "date." I love that they ended up wandering into the "Den"!

SEE EVENT PHOTOS HERE!

I received a very sweet and moving congratulatory card from a young woman; I would like to share that here.
"Dr. Jenn,
How incredible that you've reached 100 episodes! As one of your long time viewers, I am so proud of what you and the folks at Gorilla Soapbox have achieved!
The work you do is so important - it is a SANE voice in a society where most information seems pretty crazy when it comes to women and sexuality! Your podcast has really deepened my understanding of my own life and image, and for that I am truly grateful. As more women come of age, your podcast will help them discover the joy and beauty of their sexuality and body-image, and they won't have to turn to CRAP like Cosmo Magazine - and for that I will always support the work that you do! Happy 100th!"

Thank you so much. It's heartfelt feedback like that, that keeps me motivated and committed to my work and passion :)

Jennifer Gunsaullus, Ph.D.

Relationship & Intimacy Doctor
Bringing Sex & Fun to San Diego
www.drjennsden.com

OK, I don't really have anything substantial to write here, except that I'm just really excited that the Creative Director at Gorilla Soapbox, Ty Mabrey, just released the 100th episode of In the Den with Dr. Jenn where we highlight the most memorable moments in female sexual empowerment (and Ty did phenomenal editing work, as always). We've worked our asses off for two years to make this show something that we're really proud of and that we know is a valuable educational service to women, men, and couples.

Tomorrow morning I'll be live in the Fox 5 News studio to discuss my show, the celebration, and relationship tips to spice things up! AND I can't wait to celebrate Tuesday night for the Wine & Sex Social at Tango Wine!

Jennifer Gunsaullus, Ph.D.

Relationship & Intimacy Doctor
100 Episodes of Female Sexual Empowerment
www.drjennsden.com

A friend recently told me about her agony in seeing an ex-boyfriend at a social event. He wants to be friends with her, since they broke up a few months ago. But seeing him makes her feel nauseous. She experiences pain and sorrow, and a yearning deep in her being for what was, or what could have been. She had to excuse herself to go to the restroom to cry.

Unfortunately I know this feeling all too well. And I know that it feels like the earth has been pulled out from under your feet.

She asked me what was wrong with her and why she couldn't just move on and be friends like him. She didn't know why she can't be around him and why it feels so painful. And she asked me whether it was immature of her to ask that they not have contact with each other and to not be his friend.

I told her I thought it was actually quite mature to be able to honor the depth of her emotions and allow herself the space to heal. Sometimes someone touches our heart so deeply that our pain is too intense for a casual relationship. It doesn't necessarily mean that this person is "the one," but it does mean that they moved us in ways we didn't think possible. I know women and men who expose themselves to such pain regularly, with a facade of acceptance for the break-up. At a deeper and unacknowledged level, though, they are still clinging to hope to be together again.

If this resonates with you, give yourself the space you need and honor your process. This doesn't mean wallow in sorrow, but to remove yourself from situations that pick at your wound, until it has time to heal. This can be done in a very mature way of requesting no contact from your former partner, while apologizing because you do not mean to hurt them by not being their friend right now. This can also help avoid building resentment for the other person, while you can build emotion stability and holistic balance.

Jennifer Gunsaullus, Ph.D.

Relationship & Intimacy Doctor
Female Sexual Empowerment
www.drjennsden.com