“Hey Dr. Jenn, I am curious if you could share a recommendation for a great vibrator that can be used during intercourse. I hear great things about the magic wand but it seems too big and bulky to use during intercourse. Any ideas?

Sincerely, Seeking Intercourse Vibration”

What are the best vibrators to use during intercourse?

Dear Seeking Intercourse Vibration,

Great question, and yes for sure, the magic wand is generally too big and bulky to use during intercourse with a partner (assuming you're in some version of missionary position).

There are two main factors that come to mind here. First, the power of the vibrator that you need is relevant. I say this specifically since you mentioned the magic wand, which is known for its power and strength. Some women need a stronger vibrator while others are ok with something smaller with lower intensity. So that will depend on your specific body's wiring and what has worked or not worked in the past. If you’re totally new to vibrators, then that will just take some trial and error. If you go to a sex toy store, they often have samples you can turn on to feel the level of vibration and get a sense of the differences available. Also, a website I highly recommend, Good Vibrations, does a great job of rating vibrators in terms of intensity. Plus it's fun to check out their Best Selling Sex Toys page :)

Second, like you said, the size matters. There are many high-quality, small, cup-in-the hand vibrators designed for clitoral stimulation. Some examples through Lelo, which makes high-quality products for women, can be seen on this page about L elo's products. It just depends on how well you can position them to stay in place or maneuver your hands to hold one in place.

You could also try a vibrating cock ring, where a guy wears a flexible ring around his penis and testicles, and the top part rubs against your clitoris during missionary intercourse (or even woman on top). If you need a stronger vibration strength, though, these might not work. The same could be said for the small vibrators that can be worn on one's finger tips (although, again, it can be difficult to get hands near our genitals during certain positions in intercourse) in that they may not be powerful enough to make a difference.

There is also a type of vibrator that is designed to be worn during intercourse, because it’s shaped like a U. It goes inside the vagina (along side a penis, and the other half of it is outside the woman against her vulva. The main brand of this is the We-Vibe -- kind of pricy and an investment. (There are other brand names too of this design, like shown in the photo here.) I haven’t personally tried one of these, so I’m not sure how well it all works, but they keep evolving so I'm guessing there's some level of success with them! Check out some We-Vibe products if you want to.

Also, I found this article about sex toys for couples that might be a good accompaniment to what I just wrote here, and guide your search. Good luck!

~Dr. Jenn Gunsaullus, San Diego Sexologist, Sociologist, Sexuality Speaker