Dr. Jenn on San Diego Living this morning! (I apologize that the embedding function isn't working well for some unknown reason. View on the San Diego Living site if that works better.)

What is intimacy and why is it important in relationships? I discussed this on San Diego Living and offered 5 "secrets" to help you continue to connect deeply with your partner and honor your relationship.

~Dr. Jenn Gunsaullus, San Diego, CA -- Sociologist, Sexologist, Sexuality Speaker

Do we (as a society) want to encourage girls and teens to be strong, confident, and intelligent? If you look at some of the clothing available, you'd think to the contrary. Gratefully a new company, Keira's Kollection, is doing something about that! http://www.keiraskollection.com

~Dr. Jenn Gunsaullus, San Diego, CA -- Sociologist, Sexuality Speaker, Sexologist

Over winter break, my coaches "forced" me to start shooting the proper way, with one hand in front of me and the other gently supporting the side of the ball. This did not feel good and I was continually missing baskets. I recall a contest where we were divided into two teams to compete making free throws under pressure, and I felt responsible for my team losing. I was frustated with my lack of skils and irritated with my coaches for making me "fix" something that I didn't think was broken.

It's not unusal in the personal growth process for things to get worse before they get better. When we break our old patterns and less-than-evolved ways of doing things, we struggle. It's difficult to choose to struggle when we want to just go back to our old comfortable ways. We have to trust that the new, more nuanced way will serve us in the long run.

I know it was worth it. I was willing to stick through the discomfort and embarrassment of shooting poorly and feeling like I was letting my teammates down. After a few weeks of practicing the new way of shooting, my accuracy had improved tremendously. The more I practiced the better I got. And so goes personal growth.

~Dr. Jenn Gunsaullus, San Diego, CA -- Sociologist, Sexuality Speaker, Sexologist

This is fun video we shot with a group of friends...would your "best case scenario" look like this? Orgasms for all!

~Dr. Jenn Gunsaullus, San Diego, CA -- Sociologist, Sexologist, Sexuality Speaker

~Dr. Jenn Gunsaullus, San Diego, CA -- Sociologist, Sexologist, Sexuality Speaker

How many sperm do men have in an average ejaculate? Why are there SOOO many?! Learn some interesting facts about sperm to impress your friends.

~Dr. Jenn Gunsaullus, San Diego, CA -- Sociologist, Sexologist, Sexuality Speaker

~Dr. Jenn Gunsaullus, San Diego, CA -- Sociologist, Sexologist, Sexuality Speaker

http://youthvector.com/celebrating-womens-day-5rape-culture-and-popular-media/

What is "rape culture" and how is that term relevant here? Rape culture is a term to describe prevailing social norms around gender, sex, and communication that faciliate an implicit acceptance of sexual assault humor and rape circumstances. In a rape culture, sexual coersion is a normalized part of sexual interaction. While this might sound extreme to some people, consider these excerpts from Lauren Nelson in her "So You're Tired of Hearing about 'Rape Culture'" essay:

"Rape culture is when a group of athletes rape a young girl, and though there are dozens of witnesses, no one says, “Stop.”

Rape culture is when a group of athletes rape a young girl, and though there are dozens of witnesses, they can’t get anyone to come forward.

Rape culture is when a group of athletes rape a young girl, and adults are informed of it, but no consequences are doled out because the boys “said nothing happened.”

Rape culture is when a group of athletes rape a young girl, and we later find out that their coaches were “joking about it” and “took care of it.” 

Rape culture is when a group of athletes rape a young girl, and even though there is documentation of the coaching staff sweeping it under the rug, they get to keep their jobs.

Rape culture is when a group of athletes rape a young girl, and one of the coaches involved in the cover-up threatens a reporter - saying, “You’re going to get yours. And if you don’t get yours, somebody close to you will.” – but the town is more worried about keeping their coaching talent than his integrity.

Rape culture is when a group of athletes rape a young girl, but because it happens at a party where both sexes were drinking, complete strangers on the internet argue ferociously that she is to blame for being attacked."

It's hard to ignore when you consider these facts. Being in a rape culture does not mean that as a society we publicly or overtly condone rape. But it does mean that we have a lot of backwards views on gender roles, the importance of athletics, personal responsibiliy, group mentality, sexual interactions, and sex education. We have a lot of shame around sex as a society, which I think is an important underlying component of our inability to think outside the box in difficult situations like Steubenville. Many would rather blame a victim instead of sitting with the discomfort of owning the state of affairs around sex...and then taking a stand to do something different.

If you're a parent out there who is not sure how to talk to your sons about these topics, so that they grow up to be respectful teenagers and men, and know that they have a voice in such situations, read this powerful letter from a mom to her sons.

~Dr. Jenn Gunsaullus, San Diego, CA -- Sociologist, Sexologist, Sexuality/Gender/Mindfulness Speaker

Listen to the discussion on Mormon Mental Health.

~Dr. Jenn Gunsaullus, San Diego, CA -- Sex Therapist, Sexuality & Mindfulness Speaker, Sexologist

Is the label "sex addiction" helpful or hurtful? Dr. Jenn Gunsaullus discusses this topic with Dr. Neil Cannon, and he shares how a therapist can help in a relationship where sexual actions are a concern.

~Dr. Jenn Gunsaullus, San Diego, CA -- Sexologist, Sex Therapist, Sexuality Speaker