You Want to Work on Your Marriage but Your Spouse Doesn't

You Want to Work on Your Marriage but Your Spouse Doesn't

It’s not uncommon in long-term relationships for one person to want to work on their relationship, while the other one doesn’t. And at time stamps like the new year and anniversaries, this may feel particularly frustrating. As part of my ongoing “How to Have Hard Conversations” series, I answer a question along these lines.

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Why You Should “Bonjour” the H*** out of Your Partner

Why You Should “Bonjour” the H*** out of Your Partner

“You Americans are so self-involved and rude,” the Parisian said to me from behind his counter. He could have been plucked from the "indignant French hotelier" category from central casting.  My eyes widened and my cheeks grew hot. I was 28 years old and in Paris for the first time. I had celebrated the 2001 New Year…

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10 Relationship Questions for Your Wedding Anniversary

10 Relationship Questions for Your Wedding Anniversary

If you have an upcoming relationship or wedding anniversary, check out this list of relationship questions. I was talking to a couple recently about their upcoming 5-year wedding anniversary, and I suggested a reflection and growth activity for their anniversary dinner. We then brainstormed a list of 10 questions, with the intent to cultivate…

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How Many Pennies Will You Pick Up in Your Marriage?

How Many Pennies Will You Pick Up in Your Marriage?

When I was a senior in college, my boyfriend and I committed to picking up all the loose change we found and collecting it in one big jar. This was from 1994 to 1995. By the summer of 1995, we had collected $128.47. We attended a wedding that summer and paid for the weekend trip with our found money (and at age 22, this felt amazing). Not surprisingly, much of the change was pennies.

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The Contribution of Listening…It’s Not Doing “Nothing”

The Contribution of Listening…It’s Not Doing “Nothing”

“Hi, Jenn,” the front desk volunteer said as I answered the phone. “I wasn’t sure who to call…a young man just walked into The Center and he said he just tested positive for HIV. He wanted to talk to someone and I guided him into the library to wait. Could you come down and talk to him?” Shit….

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3 Keys to Thriving Intimacy in Your Marriage

3 Keys to Thriving Intimacy in Your Marriage

Are you able to accept change? Intimacy, whether in the form of emotional closeness or sexual connection, changes throughout a long-term relationship. Shifts in your intimate connections are inevitable, because: Priorities change. Families change. Jobs change. Needs change. Hormones change. Bodies change….

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