1. What was your first introduction to sexuality or sex as a child? Was it positive?
2. Did you have sex education classes or did your parents openly teach you about your body in a comfortable and honorable way?
3. If you were raised in a religion, what did you learn through that about the meaning of sex? Empowering? Shameful? Beautiful? Dirty? Not discussed?
4. Did you witness a double standard when growing up in the ways boys were allowed to exert their opinions and sexuality?
5. Do you prefer sexual experiences that are circular in nature, with highs and lows in activity, instead of a linear orgasm-as-the-only-goal oriented interaction?
6. Are you saying, “Huh?” about the last question? :)
7. Do you love your body? By this, I mean, can you look at yourself in the mirror and say “I love you” to yourself and all parts of your body and really mean it? Do you appreciate it for what it allows you to do in this world?
8. Do you know what turns you on sexually? Do you know how to pleasure yourself?
9. Do you know what HPV* is?
10. Do you have a belief in a higher power or consciousness? Does this belief honor you as a sexual being?
11. Have you ever felt ashamed or embarrassed of your genitals?
12. Do you know the difference between a vibrator and a dildo?
13. Do you know what the most popular vibrator is and where it gained its fame?
14. Are you fully able to be present and let go of yourself in a sexual situation (or are you hiding your belly or making “to-do” lists for the next day in your head)?
15. Do you rely on alcohol or drugs to make you feel sexy or relaxed? Do you use it as an excuse for behaviors you wouldn’t engage in when sober? Or do you need it to turn you on?
16. Do you judge yourself as not “normal” in your desire for sex, or lack of desire for sex? What is “normal”?
17. How would you make a distinction in your understanding of the meaning of sexuality, sensuality, and erotic?
18. How do you define sexy? Where does your definition come from?

If you answered yes, no, maybe, or “huh?” to any of these questions, good for you! You have taken a big step towards learning more about yourself as a sexual being and your sexuality outside “the box.” If you have any ideas or questions you would like to suggest, feel free to email me.

*HPV is human papillomavirus, a sexually transmitted infection. It is the most common viral STI (sexually transmitted infection) in the United States. For more information, check out: www.cdc.gov/STD/HPV/STDFact-HPV.htm