There was one time when I was at a bar and someone insisted on buying a drink for me even though I said no various times, and somehow thought that buying me a drink meant he could take me home. Good thing one of my friends drove him off, he was quite annoying
This is a great topic, as there is still a gendered expectation for a man to buy a woman a drink in a bar, if he is interested in her. There is definitely ambiguity in the situation - is he just being nice? Does he feel obligated to buy her a drink, so he doesn't look cheap (so unfair to men)? Is he hoping to impress her? Is it just more fun when drinking to drink with as many people as possible? Does he hope that she'll want to talk/spend time with him (or feel obligated to) because of the drink? Or is he trying to ply her with alcohol so her inhibitions are loosened?
Aahhh...the fascinating dance of flirtation in bars...
As a Sex Worker, I find it interesting that you don't link trading/bartering for sex as Sex Work. I have traded items for Sex before, I think back to before I was 21, trading spankings for booze. Now I just trade for money. I also agree that you should get out and vote! If you are in San Francisco, remember to vote yes on Proposition K, where we are trying to Decriminalize Prostitution, and help end the violence and stigma of being a Sex Worker.
Legally speaking trading/bartering anything that has value is considered prostitution. So all those college students would legally be prostitutes. I would call them Sex Workers, and fully support their decisions!
We can be Empowered Sex Workers, but it takes all of us to have respect for people that trade sex for goods, services and money. Not all of us are the stereotypical high-class call girl or destitute street worker with a pimp. Sex Work is varied, just like every other industry.
Comments
I'm curious to see what
I'm curious to see what people would be willing to exchange for sex..or either to give for sex or receive!
One vote for housecleaning! haha
not willing to exchange, but the expectation
There was one time when I was at a bar and someone insisted on buying a drink for me even though I said no various times, and somehow thought that buying me a drink meant he could take me home. Good thing one of my friends drove him off, he was quite annoying
Buying Drinks in Bars - Conversation, Kindness, or Sex?
This is a great topic, as there is still a gendered expectation for a man to buy a woman a drink in a bar, if he is interested in her. There is definitely ambiguity in the situation - is he just being nice? Does he feel obligated to buy her a drink, so he doesn't look cheap (so unfair to men)? Is he hoping to impress her? Is it just more fun when drinking to drink with as many people as possible? Does he hope that she'll want to talk/spend time with him (or feel obligated to) because of the drink? Or is he trying to ply her with alcohol so her inhibitions are loosened?
Aahhh...the fascinating dance of flirtation in bars...
Jennifer Gunsaullus, Ph.D.
Sociologist & Sexual Health Educator
www.drjennsden.com
As a Sex Worker...
Hi!
As a Sex Worker, I find it interesting that you don't link trading/bartering for sex as Sex Work. I have traded items for Sex before, I think back to before I was 21, trading spankings for booze. Now I just trade for money. I also agree that you should get out and vote! If you are in San Francisco, remember to vote yes on Proposition K, where we are trying to Decriminalize Prostitution, and help end the violence and stigma of being a Sex Worker.
Legally speaking trading/bartering anything that has value is considered prostitution. So all those college students would legally be prostitutes. I would call them Sex Workers, and fully support their decisions!
We can be Empowered Sex Workers, but it takes all of us to have respect for people that trade sex for goods, services and money. Not all of us are the stereotypical high-class call girl or destitute street worker with a pimp. Sex Work is varied, just like every other industry.
Proposition K - Decriminalizing Prostitution in San Francisco
Thanks for posting! Proposition K was just brought to my attention this afternoon, and I'm so pleased to see you bringing the discussion to the Den!
If anyone is interested in learning more about this, here is an excellent article (with reader's comments) about Prop K from the Huffington Post.
And follow this link if you want to learn more about the Sex Workers Outreach Project!
Jennifer Gunsaullus, Ph.D.
Sociologist & Sexual Health Educator
www.drjennsden.com