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What I'm Reading
  • Gone Girl
    Gone Girl
    by Gillian Flynn
  • The Secret History of Wonder Woman
    The Secret History of Wonder Woman
    by Jill Lepore
  • Dear White America: Letter to a New Minority (City Lights Open Media)
    Dear White America: Letter to a New Minority (City Lights Open Media)
    by Tim Wise
Thursday
Jun252015

Summer Lovin' - Quick Guide to Summer Romance

Summer loving had me a blast,
Summer loving happened so fast,
I met a girl crazy for me,
Met a boy cute as can be...

What is it about summer time that seems to make us feel more romantic? San Diego Living (Ch. 6) brought me in to discuss this as we launch into summer time. Is it the warmer days? Longer daylight? Less clothing? Nostalgic feelings? All of the above! I also share some tips about harnassing the sensual feeling of summer to ignite your summer romance.

~Dr. Jenn Gunsaullus, San Diego Sexuality Speaker, Sexologist, & Sociologist

Tuesday
Jun162015

What is Mindful Sex? Mindfulness, Women, & Intimacy

Mindfulness and sex - my two favorite topics to talk about! And who better to discuss mindful sex with, than the sexpert couple in Tampa, FL, who refer to themselves as The Love Birds! (Which totally makes sense, because they've been married a long time, they are sex and love experts, and their last name is Bird!) I met these two a few years ago at the annual AASECT sexuality conference, where we hit it off immediately. Chuck and JoAnn Bird are good people. So I was thrilled when they asked to interview me for their weekly radio show Intimate Chat with the Love Birds.

*Click here to open a new window that will play the radio interview.*

I join their show at around the 18-minute point. We discuss how mindfulness is vitally important to breaking negative relationship patterns, what's needed for female sexual empowerment, and tips to put mindfulness into action. We also explain our running joke about Nut Porn ;) Have a listen and let me know what you think about sex and mindfulness!

~Dr. Jenn Gunsaullus, Sexologist, Sexuality Speaker, Sociologist

Thursday
May282015

4 Tips to Avoid a Vacation from Hell

Yeah - a romantic vacation! It means time away from work with your partner. But will it be a relaxing trip by the pool? Or an outdoor adventure? Or an exploration of art museums and architecture? There are several important factors that need to be discussed ahead of time with you partner, to make sure you're on the same page, or at the least that you understand your partner's expectations and perspective.

I discussed this topic with Marc Bailey on Channel 6's San Diego Living, coincidentally days before his upcoming vacation to Alaska with his wife. Happy travels!

~Dr. Jenn Gunsaullus, San Diego Sexologist, Sexuality Speaker, Sociologist

Tuesday
Apr212015

What does Compassion have to do w/ Sex?

Consider these utterances:

All men are assholes.

I know how to get women into bed.

I didn't even know the bitchs' name the next morning.

I’d rather fake an orgasm than have to tell my partner what I like.

My message that "We are all in this together" (see previous blog about my billboard) indicated that we as humans all want to be seen, acknowledged, understood, respected, and loved. However, as reflected in the above statements (that I've actually heard before), compassion and sex don't necessarilly go hand in hand. Love, respect, and understanding are important in such an intimate act. Even if you've just met the other person, they are still another human being who is worthy of respect and kindness. But our patterns, projections, fears, and walls of protection get in the way of this basic fact.

American social norms encourage much judgment and shame around sexual expression. We plaster sexual images everywhere, but are also quite prudish. There is so much discomfort around sex, and frank sexual conversations are often avoided. Sexual expression can be stigmatized and anything outside of a narrow range of "normal" seen as wrong. However, if we remember that as humans we all are on this wild ride of life together on this planet, and that connecting intimately with others is one of the most beautiful things we can do as humans, we may be able to be a little kinder to our partners and even random people.

We share, as humans, the vulnerability of wanting love and connection. We could dislike this feeling of vulnerability and run from it by projecting negativity on others in an attempt to protect ourselves. OR, we could realize that we all share these same basic fears and deep desires. This common humanity unites us. And I hope it motivates us to inspire love and compassion, instead of fear and disconnect.

~Dr. Jenn Gunsaullus, San Diego Sexologist, Sociologist, Sexuality Speaker

Monday
Apr132015

Does Watching Sports make your relationship Better or Worse?

With the start of baseball season and the San Diego Padres home opener, I spoke with Marc Bailey on San Diego Living about the impact watching sports can have on someone's serious relationships. Baseball sex analogies aside, sports do have a wonderful potential to bring couples closer together. However, they can also put a wedge of resentment in a relationship. I discuss what to do to make sure watching sports doesn't jeopardize your relationship.

~Dr. Jenn Gunsaullus, San Diego Sexologist, Sexuality Speaker, Sex Sociologist