Awakening to Sexual Self-Love

With all the images and messages of love in the media this month, why not take the time to awaken to your own sexual self-love? What does that even mean?

I wrote an article for the February Issue of "Vision Magazine" on this topic, while delving into body-image, meditative masturbation, and self-expression. I've posted the beginning of the article here, with the link at the bottom if you would like the read the entire piece.
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Learning to love ourselves can be a challenging task and a long journey. Lying at the core of self-love are the abilities to know ourselves, like ourselves, and appreciate our strengths, while accepting our weaknesses. Expanding self-love into the sexual arena can offer even more avenues for personal growth. Unfortunately for many people, self-love and sexuality are mutually exclusive. Sexuality is often relegated to its own discrete box and does not receive the same knowledge, appreciation, and acceptance as the development of self-love and personal transformation in other areas of our lives.

When expanding self-love to our experiences and meaning around sexuality, it may be easier to first state the opposite of sexual self-love: guilt, shame, embarrassment, disconnection, body-loathing, and lack of knowledge. These emotions and mental states are the result of fear-based learning about sex and sexuality from various sources, such as restrictive religions, embarrassed parents, ignorant teachers, and idealized media images. If you begin with sexual topics where you feel anxiety or discomfort, you can identify where you have opportunity for immediate growth. The areas of body-image, masturbation, and freedom of expression can be a great place to start.
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To read the entire article, please follow this link to Vision Magazine.

Jennifer Gunsaullus, Ph.D.

Sex Therapy & Relationship Counseling in San Diego

Bodily Pleasures - Swaying to My Own Beat

As I mentioned in an earlier blog about "Spirituality & Sexuality - Why Such a Split," pursuing and experiencing pleasure has gotten a bad rap. It's immature. It's superficial. It's selfish. And oddly enough, for a society with such a focus on individualism, selfishness (particularly for women, I'm wiling to claim) is condemned. Although we are constantly pursuing pleasures of the body, to say that you're doing it for its own sake, as an end in itself, seems to be a problem. This perspective is understandable to some extent, as a hedonistic approach to life could include feeling out of control or mis-prioritizing.

But like so much else, I look to apply a holistic perspective to pleasure and reframe it as a self-nurturing activity. Yesterday I experienced a session of movement therapy with musician and dance/music therapist Draza Jansky. We sat on the floor for awhile, discussing my relationship with my body, my experience of my physical body needing to "catch up" to my emotional and spiritual growth, and what it is to be in tune with and honoring of my body. I then stood with my eyes closed and just moved however I wanted as my friend observed. Despite my expectation of feeling awkward in being watched and my assumption that my inner critic would be full throttle, within minutes I felt peaceful yet inquisitive.

I was curious by my movements. I was appreciative to have the time devoted to a calm and gentle exploration. I was shocked that I felt thoroughly at home in my body and in a rare space of nonjudgment. I forgot I was being watched. How long I moved, swayed, stretched, and expanded, I do not know. What I do know is that I experienced pleasure. Holistic pleasure. I felt mentally and physically energized, emotionally and spiritually peaceful, and socially exempt. I was listening to my inner wisdom. And I was OK in each moment. This holistic pleasure, by way of my physical body, was nurturing and balancing and honoring and freeing. And felt damn good.

Jennifer Gunsaullus, Ph.D.

Sex Therapy & Relationship Counseling in San Diego

Sacred Dancing - Goddess Belly Dancing

Part 1:

Part 2:

The Den is converted into a Goddess Studio, as Dr. Jenn interviews Amalya Peck, Goddess Extraordinaire, about the power of sacred dance for women and honoring your body as temple. Amalya performs a beautiful veil dance to a soulful drum beat.

SPECIAL GUESTS:
Amalya Peck
and Lisa Bonneau on drum

THE DEN RECOMMEND:
When the Drummers Were Women: A Spiritual History of Rhythm, by Layne Redmond

Photographing Female “Petals”

Nick Karras, author and photographer of the book Petals, talks with Dr. Jenn about the challenges of shooting photos of vulvas as well as the positive response from women who have seen his work.

SPECIAL GUEST:

Nick Karras, DHS, Photographer and Vulva Activist

THE DEN RECOMMEND:

Visit the blog at the new www.drjennsden.com site.

~Dr. Jenn Gunsaullus, San Diego Sex Coaching, Marriage Counselor, and University Sexual Health Speaker

From Gymnastics to Girls Empowerment

Dr. Jenn talks with gymnast, life coach and founder of Gold Medal Coaching, Janae Whittaker Ali, about empowering young girls to overcome body image and self-esteem issues.

SPECIAL GUEST:
Janae Whittaker Ali of Gold Medal Coaching

THE DEN RECOMMEND:
Getting Real, by Susan Campbell

Love Your Body – What? How? Why?

What does it take to love your body? Do you feel powerless against the media's influence on beauty? Dr. Jenn talks about loving the body you have and appreciating what you've got.

THE DEN RECOMMEND:
How to Win Friends and Influence People, by Dale Carnegie