The Vagina Monologues in San Diego!

Monday, February 23, 7:30pm
Lyceum Theater, Horton Plaza

I am thrilled and excited to announce a benefit performance of Eve Ensler’s The Vagina Monologues featuring Extraordinary San Diego Women:

Helice “Sparky” Bridges, Lana Culliver, Dr. Jenn Gunsaullus, Jessica John, Moira Keefe, Donna Lange, Carla Navarro, Pamela Perkins, Jenni Prisk , Anna Seymore, M’lafi Thompson, Dr. Deborah Waitley, and Emmy award winner, Denise Yamada

This production benefits The Speak for Success Women's Leadership Institute, a partnership with the YWCA of San Diego County. Started in 2008 by Dana Bristol-Smith, the WLI gives domestic violence survivors professional development training and coaching to help them transform their lives.

Join us for this special, one-night only performance.

Grab your Girlfriends and wear what your Vagina would wear!
~$40 Sexy Seats include full access to the Silent Auction, Sponsor tables, and a good time.
~$95 Pink Circle Seats include all of the above, plus Center Section Reserved Seating, a Post-Show Reception with the Cast and Sponsors, and more!
~$40 Be a V-Angel for a YWCA woman resident who is retaking control of her life today (email info@speakforsuccess.com)

TICKETS ARE AVAILABLE BY PHONE: The Lyceum Box Office (hours are 12:00 – 6:00 pm, Tuesday – Sunday) at 619-544-1000.

TICKETS ARE AVAILABLE ONLINE: http://www.lyceumevents.org/ click on Buy Tickets – once the Buy Tickets screen comes up – you’ll see $95 orchestra, select the number of tickets and hit CONTINUE – The next screen will give you the choice of $95 reserved front and center or $40 general admission tickets. You’ll want to come early to get the best seats.

Jennifer Gunsaullus, Ph.D.

Sex Therapy & Relationship Counseling in San Diego

Womanhood, First Periods, & Passing on Wisdom

What does it mean to "become a woman?" Is it a moment or a long process? Is it something innate or socially constructed? Is this an embarrassing transition or something to be celebrated?

As a society we have an understanding that a girl's first period is her launch into womanhood. Although mentally and emotionally she still may be an adolescent and immature, her physical body has signaled that it is prepared to give birth.

A good friend of mine emailed recently that her 14 year old daughter just got her first period. She wrote: "I'm sharing this news with you, my closest, most lovely friends, because you embody the power, strength and passion of being a woman. In lieu of an entire red event, I'd love to start another tradition - we send each other's daughters, nieces, and friends anonymous letters filled with congratulations, tenderness and praise. Perhaps you'd like to share your own story, words of advice, or even a funny moment or situation... I know she'll appreciate the welcoming."

I think this is a phenomenal idea and was thrilled to have this opportunity to pass on the wisdom I've gained through my work and personal experiences (admittedly though, a bit abstract, sociological, and esoteric to articulate and grasp). I've included below most of what I wrote in my card, welcoming her to womanhood.
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Congratulations! A little birdie told me that you've joined the ranks of "womanhood" this week!

While is certainly takes a lot more to be a "woman," I do want to honor your physical transition to being a woman. This can be a scary time because you body is doing new things, you're growing in new ways, and you may be having new feelings. But I know you have an amazing mother who loves you beyond belief and thinks the world of you.

I wanted to use this opportunity to share with you what I've learned in the past 20 years of "being a woman." I've learned that at the core of everything we do and think is our own ability to love and respect ourselves. This isn't always easy because we get so many conflicting messages from family, school, religion, and media. But checking in with what you know to be true about yourself, and being honest with yourself, is always the best path.
I've learned that it's OK to enjoy our body and say yes. It's also OK to say no if that means we are respecting and honoring our body. And I've learned that the female body is so beautiful and amazing! It's a source of so much pleasure and so much pain, and all of this is the power of being a woman. It is a power to be respected, so always remember to both enjoy and respect it.
I think you are a beautiful, intelligent, witty, and clever young woman!
This may all be in the abstract for you right now, but as you grow older I think the messages will make more sense.
Lots of love :)

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What would adolescence be like for young women if we all took the approach of educating, honoring, and celebrating the first period?

Jennifer Gunsaullus, Ph.D.

Sex Therapy & Relationship Counseling in San Diego

Taking it All to the Mat: Yoga as a Panacea?

My intention for the new year is to honor my body. So this week I signed up for three months of unlimited yoga. Half-way through the first class, as my sweat made the mat too slippery for firm positioning, I questioned what the hell I was doing. But now 4 classes later, I am reminded of the power of yoga for balance and joy.

Yesterday was an odd day and I was feeling under the weather, both physically and emotionally. Yet knowing that I would be attending a 5:30pm yoga class took the edge off the day a bit. In the first child's pose, I smiled with my face to the mat, because I knew the next hour was sacred time for me to be present with me. During the final shavasana, I usually relax and smile with the thought of what I get to eat when I go home (food is a motivator for me). But last evening I noticed myself mentally escaping and brought my awareness back to my body. I can already feel my spine straightening more. I'm aware of muscles in my abs and ass I haven't felt in quite some time. I feel more aware of and appreciative of what my body is capable of doing. And I felt peaceful and happy.

I'm thrilled that for the next three months (at the least) I'll be taking it all the mat. For me, a regular yoga practice is such a positive and holistically balanced outlet for stress, anxiety, frustration, fear, and sadness. By the end of an hour I had a great workout...and life just makes more sense.

Jennifer Gunsaullus, Ph.D.

Sex Therapy & Relationship Counseling in San Diego

The Erotic Mind - What Are Your Peak Sexual Experiences?

While I'm home in PA for the holidays with my family, I'm reading The Erotic Mind by Jack Morin, PhD. This book was recommended through the AASECT (a professional sexuality organization) listserve, and with a subheading of "Unlocking the inner sources of sexual passion and fulfillment," how could I not be intrigued both personally and professionally?!

I haven't read that far into the book yet, but I am very pleased with the author's writing style and outside the box thinking. Instead of taking the standard "what's wrong" approach to sexual therapy and counseling, he starts with questions about peak sexual experiences and fantasies. This is a way to learn more about your erotic turn-ons, how you've tapped into that in the past, and setting the groundwork to create more passion in the future.

Thinking back, what were your most sexually arousing situations? What were the details and circumstances? Why do you think it was so arousing? The interesting thing here is that sometimes our most arousing memories don't involve sexual intercourse or even explicit sexual activity. It could be visual stimuli, or an attraction, or a desire. Or it could be a complex and wild and debauchous! It's a great way to focus on what has worked well for you in the past, and be creative in how to bring more of that to your erotic fulfillment.

Jennifer Gunsaullus, Ph.D.

Sex Therapy & Relationship Counseling in San Diego

Blocks to Intimacy and Sex --> Vulnerability?

Last night I hosted my monthly free Coed Coffee Chat. This month's topic was: What is Intimacy? How Can it be Improved?

I was really impressed with the depth of insights and sharing from the group of 12 women and men, most of whom had just met for the first time. As we made our initial round of introductions, we each stated why this topic piqued our interest. This sharing alone offered fascinating insights into the complicated and varied perceptions of the meaning of intimacy. For some, intimacy is something created with a partner who can be trusted with our fragile vulnerabilities. For others, intimacy is something that can be created with many people, from an intense eye gazing with a stranger, to a group of women supporting and loving one another. Is sex part of intimacy? Absolutely, if you want it to be. Sex can be a powerful pathway to intimacy and transcendence. But it is not necessary for intimacy.

Although we began the meeting with different understandings of what intimacy means, there seemed to be consensus that keys to true intimacy are open communication and a willingness to be transparent and vulnerable. Yes - vulnerability. Perhaps a terrifying word for some, yet the key to loving ourselves and allowing others in for blissful intimacy.

AND...I learned a new clever way to think about intimacy: In To Me You See. Cool!

*The photograph here is part of a fine art photography series of the sensual contours of the earth, Earth Erotica, by Heather Firth. She attended this month's discussion on Intimacy and shared her wisdom!

Jennifer Gunsaullus, Ph.D.

Sex Therapy & Relationship Counseling in San Diego

Consciousness Raising in Female Sexuality

I received a wonderful email today from a viewer. She wrote about the idea of consciousness-raising, and how she uses In the Den with Dr. Jenn for her own personal growth. I like the concept of consciousness-raising, and first heard about this as an undergrad learning about the feminist movement of the 1970s. Through gathering, learning, expressing, and implementing, groups of women would challenge their beliefs systems for personal and societal growth. Below are parts of the email I received:

Dr. Jenn,
I subscribed to your podcast at least a year ago. I just wanted to tell
you how much it has meant to me. You are wonderful! You are "out there" saying things that are so important to be in discussion in our society (and so important to me too). In fact, when I first downloaded the podcast I kept a journal of reflections regarding your ideas, statements, and the information you presented. It was like a consciousness raising for me. I watched your podcast like a class! I really like your tone and topics. Many of the podcasts concern things I have thought or read about before but not thought through enough to have integrated them into my life. The reflection journal helps me in that way. I enjoy the format of your show. It is a safe place to have these conversations, as you say each time. I am so grateful for your blend of fun and academic tone. Our society seems to put women into a box and not let them out. I live in Oklahoma and the stereotypes seem more narrow here. Did you know you were a role model? I bet you did. =0)

It means so much to me to receive emails like this! I'm actually creating a workbook to be used as a guide for self-learning and exploration with the podcast show, and I love that this viewer has already taken that into her own hands by creating a consciousness-raising journal. We are always hearing and learning new information, but unless we take the time to reflect on how it impacts us at a deep level and what we want to do with that knowledge, it may just go in one ear and out the other. This is a great example of a woman taking the bull by the horns in terms of her own self-education and sexual empowerment - I love it!

Jennifer Gunsaullus, Ph.D.

Sex Therapy & Relationship Counseling in San Diego