What I Want to Hear from You, Brett Kavanaugh

What I Want to Hear from You, Brett Kavanaugh

I’ve heard denial and a lot of deflection. I’ve heard anger and sadness. And I’ve heard disrespect. I know you needed to show that you are tough and a strong man. You needed to show who is in charge through your dominance and anger and righteous indignation. What I haven’t heard from you, Judge Kavanaugh…

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#WhyIMarch - Women's March on Washington

#WhyIMarch - Women's March on Washington

I'm in Washington, DC, and I just finished making my march signs while all my east coast friends here are already asleep. While it feels like a no-brainer for me, since I'm in the sex & gender field and have previously been involved with activism, to be here for this women's march, I've been reflecting on the various reasons why this march matters to me.

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All year round is a good time for GALentine's Day

I really do like the idea of prioritizing celebrating time with our girlfriends. The day before Valentine's Day has been dubbed Galentine's Day (from the show Parks & Recreation), but I think just like Valentine's Day, it's important to celebrate this kind of love, friendship, and connection all year round. Although you might not always be treated with the surprise of Chippendales' dancers on your next gal pal outing ;) We had a lot of laughs on this segment on San Diego Living!

The video is not embedding properly from the San Diego Living website, but you can click here to watch about Galentine's Day on their site!

~Dr. Jenn Gunsaullus, San Diego Sexologist, Sex Speaker, Sociologist

Top 5 Questions Women Ask a Sex Counselor

Sex is fun…and complicated! While there are a lot of biological components of sexuality, there are also a lot of social, mental and emotional aspects. These often get in the way of enjoying the pleasures of our bodies and the potential for deep connections with others. As a Relationship and Intimacy Counselor, I receive many questions from women about their sex lives; below are five of the most common questions I receive.

1. Am I normal? Is what we’re doing normal?

These questions come from a fear of being judged or not feeling good enough. There may be sexual statistical averages around activities and frequency and tastes, but what really matters is what you like and don’t like, and the same for your partner. You could be perfectly “average” and “normal,” but still have a miserable sex life! Each individual and couple needs to create their own “normal” based on their preferences, needs and desires.

2. Why don’t I feel desire any more? How can I feel passion again?

It is really common for women in long-term relationships to lose their desire. Desire is a tricky thing that we tend to take for granted in the early stages of a relationship. But once those neurochemicals wear off, most women and couples don’t know what to do. The first step is to redefine desire from something that happens to you, to something that you can cultivate. What primes your pump? By this I mean, what can your partner do that helps you feel open to being sexual? Is it doing the dishes for you, massaging your shoulders, or having an eye-to-eye conversation? Focus on what makes you feel loved and nurtured and also makes your partner seem appealing. The second thing you can do is to take responsibility for your own desire. What puts you in the mood, such as reading erotica, fantasizing, or touching yourself? Do these things regularly to kick-start your libido.

3. How can I request my sexual needs without feeling embarrassed?

Read the rest of this blog that I wrote for the Softcup Blog HERE.

~Dr. Jenn Gunsaullus, San Diego Sexologist, Sex Speaker, Sociologist