When Consent Isn’t Enough: From my mother’s bedside to Epstein’s world, what consent misses about power

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When Consent Isn’t Enough: From my mother’s bedside to Epstein’s world, what consent misses about power

I’ve been thinking about consent a lot this year, but in some new ways. In my work, I’ve long pushed back on simplified ideas like “No means no” and “Yes means yes” and tried to bring in the complexity of real human interaction. But what I didn’t expect was that caring for my dying mother would clarify what felt so wrong about Jeffrey Epstein’s world. Consent is not just about permission, but about how power is used when someone is vulnerable.

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What is “stealthing” and why is it now illegal in CA?

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What is “stealthing” and why is it now illegal in CA?

Imagine this: You’re hooking up with a guy who you kind of like and are definitely attracted to. It seems like you’re headed towards sexual intercourse – which you want -- so you ask if he has a condom. He pulls one from his drawer, and although it’s dim in the room, you see him roll it down his penis….

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A Sexual Email I Received...and What Coercion Looks Like

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A Sexual Email I Received...and What Coercion Looks Like

Last week I received an email from someone I don’t know. It read: Hello, I have for a long long time loved to watch a Female Professional wear Closed Toe High Heel Pumps/Shoes while I Self Pleasure just looking at her but directly watching shoe play. I definitely prefer this over any other sex opportunity. I love asking to do this and would love to pay for a session…

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The danger of compartmentalizing sex

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The danger of compartmentalizing sex

We compartmentalize sex. From what it means to be a “good person” in regards to sexually respecting others. We compartmentalize sex. From our overall health and well-being as humans. We, as a society, compartmentalize sex. Why does this matter?…

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Hooking up at a Music Festival - Sex Tips for Cosmo

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Hooking up at a Music Festival - Sex Tips for Cosmo

Did you know that 34% of attendees at music festivals hook up at these festivals? Frankly, I would have guessed it was even higher! An editor at Cosmo asked for my suggestions for improving sexual hookups at music festivals.

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Actually, consent is complicated

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Actually, consent is complicated

“I’m going to kiss you now,” Tom says as he moves in to embrace the flustered Amber, a fellow first year student at Princeton University. This is one of the opening lines in Actually, a two-person play by Anna Ziegler at the San Diego Repertory Theatre.

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