Sex Books Galore!

Ahhh, I'm in my own special heaven of sex books. This is how I felt last week when I visited the library at The Center for Sex and Culture in San Francisco. The Center offers a sex-positive educational space and a variety of events. They have a growing collection of sex-related books and I made an appointment with the librarian to spend some time checking through their shelves. Happily, the one chair in the small library was next to the female orgasm section, where I settled in for an hour and a half. I wanted to take so many of the books home with me, but they were nice enough to allow me to use their photocopier. I was so pleased and excited by all the subsections of sexuality represented there: orgasm, erotica, relationships, LGBTQ, academic & theorectical perspectives, reproduction, empowerment, etc.

If you have a special interest in sex-related reading, I am hosting an evening this week called Dr. Jenn's Sexual Book List, where I will discuss and suggest some of my favoriate resources conencted to sex, relationships, female sexual empowerment, and gender differences.

Jennifer Gunsaullus, Ph.D.

Sex Therapy & Relationship Counseling in San Diego

BioHormones! And women and wine...

Discussions about bio-identical hormones and compounding pharmacies have been in the mainstream media a lot recently, particularly since Oprah has been covering the topic. Specifically in terms of "hormone replacement" for women going through menopause, women with PMS concerns, and men and women with "low libidos," what makes bio-identical hormones different than those from the big pharmaceutical companies is that these hormones are created to be the same in structure as our own natural hormones, which ideally improves the benefits and decreases the negative side effects.

Last night I attended a lecture on Women & Hormones (and Wine, because it was in a wine bar :). For the record, I do perceive some aspects of taking hormones as just another part of the western biomedical mentality of popping pills for a quick fix instead of looking at the big picture of what may be causing the imbalance in the first place (e.g., diet, exercise, environmental toxins, stress, sleep). However, I think this is valuable knowledge to have and a tool in one's tool chest of health. I found it personally valuable (as someone who deals with PMS) and professionally valuable because I see many female clients in their menopausal phase, as well and women and men with sex drive concerns.

One piece of valuable information for me was around how to best absorb and use various hormones. For example, progesterone is best taken orally. On the other hand, testosterone and estrogen are best administered transdermally (e.g., patch or cream). Estrogen can be dangerous for women to take because it can accelerate the growth of some breast tumors. However, taking it through the skin means that it's being absorbed directly into the blood stream and in the area where it is applied. Therefore it doesn't go through the processing of the liver until a second pass when the dose is way lower. This means that the positive benefits are present, while the potential negative side effects are reduced.

There is loads of much more detailed information around these topics, and if you've been taking or considering taking hormones, I think it's very valuable to know about and look into compounding pharmacies (who offer bio-identical hormones) as an alternative to mainstream drug options.

Jennifer Gunsaullus, Ph.D.

Sex Therapy & Relationship Counseling in San Diego

Use Magic Instead of "Faking It"

I was at a friend's apartment recently when she told me about doing "magical" rituals with another friend. I don't generally use the word "magic" often nor take it particularly seriously. In my understanding, they were using the concept to create an attitude that anything is possible, and adding magic to an intention allows a shift in consciousness for its creation.

When I was at lunch yesterday with a colleague and videographer, Wes, he used the term magic as well, in the context of sexual fulfillment. Practitioners in the sexual field sometimes recommend that people "fake it until they make it." The belief is that if you don't feel confident about something, just go through the motions until you start to gain the knowledge and skills to actually be and do what you're striving for. Wes, though, makes a powerful shift with the inclusion of magic. Instead of faking it (and knowing that you're faking it), why not add magical intentions?

Although this is particularly "woo-woo" type of thinking, I believe it has the potential to be incredibly powerful in giving someone a boost for their leap of faith. It is as if you know you need something else (to learn, be, experience, have, etc.) and without having that you may feel stuck or too scared to try. If you allow space for magic to fill that missing piece for the time being, and TRUST it will do its job, then you can move forward with greater security and confidence.

As I write this, I do recognize that it sounds a little crazy. But it is also resonating with me in that we create so much of our reality through our perception. Why not add the belief in that extra little boost through "magic" as a new tool of strength and empowerment to your tool belt?

Jennifer Gunsaullus, Ph.D.

Sex Therapy & Relationship Counseling
~Healthy Sexuality & Happy Relationships in San Diego~
www.drjennsden.com
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The Female Brain - Making Sense of Hormones & Neurobiology

As a Sociologist, I was trained to put a lot of emphasis on the social construction of beliefs, gender differences, and sexual behavior. For this reason, I have been slow to embrace and explore the role of hormones and brain physiology in women and men. I recognize that it is difficult to separate nature from nurture, biological differences from socialized behavior.

Nonetheless, I have been THRILLED to read Louann Brizendine's book The Female Brain. I feel like so much of what I have learned about my personal emotional, hormonal, and intellectual patterns are validated through reading this book. I make so much more sense to myself now! As an emotionally intuitive person, I've learned how my hormones and brain structure are relevant to this. I am always speaking to my clients about the differences between women and men and how this is important to recognize and respect -- this book gave me the depth of terminology and understanding I was craving to offer a more well-rounded analysis of gender differences. As well, I have greater compassion now for the men in my life, and the inherent differences in our empathy, emotional expression, and sexual focus.

While I still continue to believe that to understand and honor human sexuality we need to take a multidisciplinary approach that includes biology, psychology, sociology, and mind/body/spirit perspectives, I think The Female Brain and this research is invaluable to understanding, through wit and compassion, the female brain.

Jennifer Gunsaullus, Ph.D.

Sex Therapy & Relationship Counseling in San Diego

Vulva Photography for Me!

If you've seen Session 20 or Session 82 of my podcast show, then you know I'm a big fan of Nick Karras' artistic photography of women's vulvas called Petals. His sepia-toned close-up photos of women's genitals is a powerful tool for me in the classroom and with clients, to show that there is incredible variety in genitals and to learn that we can experience our genitals as beautiful.

I'm happy to report that Nick and his wife Sayaka are working on a Petals II project this summer. This time the photos will be in color, so that they can explicitly be utilized in educational settings (e.g., nursing programs, clinical settings, women's studies classrooms).

AND...I visited them yesterday to have myself photographed as part of their new book! Although I wasn't nervous per se, I certainly felt some initial awkwardness in laying down and spreading my legs for my friends to view, let alone the camera that was about a foot from my vulva. But I was relieved and pleased with how comfortable Nick and Sayaka made the experience because of their matter-of-fact approach to the shoot and their appreciation for female sexuality and empowering women. Within minutes I actually felt quite proud of my vulva and her modeling debut. Even though the experience itself was probably no more than 15 minutes, I really did leave the shoot feeling more empowered through being appreciative of the beauty of my genitals and having unabashedly shared myself for the education and empowerment of others. Pussies unite!

Jennifer Gunsaullus, Ph.D.

Sex Therapy & Relationship Counseling in San Diego

Sexual Empowement - Buzz Words or Depth of Humanity?

At the Coed Coffee Chat discussion I facilitated last week, we discussed whether we thought “empowerment” was needed for people in the realm of sex and sexuality, and what the word means in this context. Although I was the only female present to make the discussing “coed,” I was very pleased with the variety of perspectives represented and sense of humor each participant brought to the table.

We started with what we thought sexual empowerment meant. Different themes emerged:

• Being in charge
• Loving yourself
• Safety and security
• Giving and receiving respect
• Recognizing choices and making healthy ones
• Having access to contraception
• Knowing what you want and voicing that
• Caring as much about your feelings and pleasures as your partner’s
• Breaking the norm

But this all begged the question – why are we discussing this unless we believe that women and men are “disempowered” around sex and sexuality? Is that the case or are we just getting wrapped up in pop psychology and new age buzz words?

We started discussing how scripted and performance-oriented sex can be, and defined through mainstream idealized media images, pornography, and assumptions around what it is to a “good” sexual male or sexual female. I think the “breaking the norm” definition of empowerment is so compelling, because this is where we realize that we have choices, can be open to expressing our needs, desires, and sexuality in new ways, and be truly present with the moment and/or our partner. It takes a lot of confidence and trust to be able to break norms around sexual behavior, because we can have so many insecurities and fears tied up in our ability to attract and perform and just to be liked. This gets to the core of our desires as humans for connection and is ripe for growth and exploration. It can be scary – but it can be damn empowering too.

Jennifer Gunsaullus, Ph.D.

Sex Therapy & Relationship Counseling in San Diego