Pornography: Love It or Hate It?

The February 2010 issue of Vision Magazine has the theme of "Sexual Politics." I was thrilled to write an article for them about pornography, a topic ripe for discussions of sexual and gender politics. Below is the beginning of the article; click on the link to read the entire article.

A recent Canadian study measuring the impact of pornography on 20-something-year-old men was unexpectedly cancelled. The reason? Researchers were unable to find a control group of men in their 20s who had not consumed pornography. I think that many men would chuckle after hearing this. And I think that many women could be dismayed—especially the women who are dating those 20-something-year-old men. Pornography is a loaded topic, evoking both titillation and deep discomfort. However, the typical knee-jerk reactions do little to help us understand the complexity of this prevalent yet taboo topic.

Pornography touches on many people’s deepest fears and desires—namely sex, pleasure, power, gender relations, idealized beauty, trust, guilt, and self-worth. For this reason, a better understanding of its personal impact is advantageous. The term pornography in this article refers to visual depictions of sexual behavior intended to arouse the viewer through the Internet, DVDs, and cable shows. This article focuses on gender differences, and the potential harms and benefits of pornography consumption.

It is not surprising to learn that males are much more likely to enjoy and consume pornography than females. While there is “feminist” pornography, directed by women and featuring more plot, romance, and foreplay, mainstream pornography is primarily created by and for men. Men tend to enjoy visual stimulation more, and seek out sexual novelty.

I asked a 39-year-old single male to explain the appeal of daily viewing of porn online. “I find it titillating—I use it for masturbatory fodder,” he openly responded. “It’s lazier mentally because it’s easier; it’s right there. I don’t have to conjure up an image. Looking at porn moves the process along more rapidly.”

Click HERE for entire article.

Jennifer Gunsaullus, Ph.D.

Sex Therapy & Relationship Counseling in San Diego

Awakening to Sexual Self-Love

With all the images and messages of love in the media this month, why not take the time to awaken to your own sexual self-love? What does that even mean?

I wrote an article for the February Issue of "Vision Magazine" on this topic, while delving into body-image, meditative masturbation, and self-expression. I've posted the beginning of the article here, with the link at the bottom if you would like the read the entire piece.
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Learning to love ourselves can be a challenging task and a long journey. Lying at the core of self-love are the abilities to know ourselves, like ourselves, and appreciate our strengths, while accepting our weaknesses. Expanding self-love into the sexual arena can offer even more avenues for personal growth. Unfortunately for many people, self-love and sexuality are mutually exclusive. Sexuality is often relegated to its own discrete box and does not receive the same knowledge, appreciation, and acceptance as the development of self-love and personal transformation in other areas of our lives.

When expanding self-love to our experiences and meaning around sexuality, it may be easier to first state the opposite of sexual self-love: guilt, shame, embarrassment, disconnection, body-loathing, and lack of knowledge. These emotions and mental states are the result of fear-based learning about sex and sexuality from various sources, such as restrictive religions, embarrassed parents, ignorant teachers, and idealized media images. If you begin with sexual topics where you feel anxiety or discomfort, you can identify where you have opportunity for immediate growth. The areas of body-image, masturbation, and freedom of expression can be a great place to start.
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To read the entire article, please follow this link to Vision Magazine.

Jennifer Gunsaullus, Ph.D.

Sex Therapy & Relationship Counseling in San Diego

The Shadows of Sexuality

Are there parts of your sexuality that you dislike, judge harshly, or deny? Have you ever had the sense that the more you try to deny these parts of who you are, the more they run you? You may also find yourself judging those same characteristics harshly in others.

In the October issue of Vision Magazine, I wrote an article about the nature of the shadows of sexuality and the beauty in shining a light on our shadows. The following is the first paragraph of the article. Click on the link below if you would like to read the entire article!

In a society with an inclination to plaster sexual images everywhere, sex is still very much in the shadows. Sexuality is often laden with shame, embarrassment, guilt, judgment, and stigma, so its shadows can be heavy and frightening. It is imperative to address the shadows of sex to see it is a natural human experience, as well as a powerful force. When such a topic is mired in silence and misconceptions, it can lead to many personal and societal problems, such as abuse and exploitation. The politicians and religious leaders brought down by public sex scandals are perfect examples of individuals whose shadow elements have surfaced in unhealthy ways.

Read the rest of "The Shadows of Sexuality" in Vision Magazine.

Jennifer Gunsaullus, Ph.D.

Sex Therapy & Relationship Counseling in San Diego