When Consent Isn’t Enough: From my mother’s bedside to Epstein’s world, what consent misses about power

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When Consent Isn’t Enough: From my mother’s bedside to Epstein’s world, what consent misses about power

I’ve been thinking about consent a lot this year, but in some new ways. In my work, I’ve long pushed back on simplified ideas like “No means no” and “Yes means yes” and tried to bring in the complexity of real human interaction. But what I didn’t expect was that caring for my dying mother would clarify what felt so wrong about Jeffrey Epstein’s world. Consent is not just about permission, but about how power is used when someone is vulnerable.

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What if Men’s Sexual Empathy Was the Default Instead of Our Moral Judgment of Women?

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What if Men’s Sexual Empathy Was the Default Instead of Our Moral Judgment of Women?

I was recently listening to one of my favorite podcasts — This American Life — where they interviewed the original researcher who studied the incidence of sexual aggression on college campuses in the 1970s and 1980s. Mary Koss, PhD, was the first to study this topic through the lens of detailed behavioral questions. For example, when asking, “Have you been raped?”…

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5 Things Successful People Might Not Know About Their Sex Lives

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5 Things Successful People Might Not Know About Their Sex Lives

You’re competent and confident. People listen to you and respect you for your knowledge and experience. You’ve achieved a high level of success in your career. But none of this means that you excel in building and maintaining healthy relationships or that you’re a good lover. Here are five aspects of intimacy that may be missing from your toolbox…

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Film Screening of "The Mask You Live In" on the Emotional Development of Boys

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Film Screening of "The Mask You Live In" on the Emotional Development of Boys

What is it like for a boy who is taught he needs to be tough to act like a man, but also feels fear? What is it like for a young man who isn’t supposed to show “weakness” and the only emotion that he can express is anger? This is the reality for many boys and young men growing up in the United States with a specific version of “masculinity” training.

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Dear Men in Power: I Know You're Scared.

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Dear Men in Power: I Know You're Scared.

Dear Men in Power, I know you’re scared. Maybe you haven’t slept well in the past two months since the #MeToo movement took its stride. Perhaps you lie awake at night thinking back to those times you might have crossed a line with a female employee...

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Why Courage is Needed to Share Sex Consent Violations

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Why Courage is Needed to Share Sex Consent Violations

Folklorist, feminist, and sex educator, Dr. Jeana Jorgensen, reflected and blogged about my personal storytelling video about a sexual consent violation I experienced recently with a man. It means a lot to me to feel like the feminist community is behind me in my personal sharing and in my compassionate and reflective approach to this difficult topic! I also share some negative comments I've received...

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