Dr. Jenn Gunsaullus, sociologist and sexologist, writes her sex advice and gender commentary blog. The sex blog includes relationship advice, free sex education videos, sex tips, sex-positive mindfulness, and podcast interviews.
How common is cheating or infidelity in relationships? What's the best approach to treating the concerns around cheating? Dr. Jenn interviews sex therapist Dr. Neil Cannon to get his sex expert views on infidelity.
~Dr. Jenn Gunsaullus, San Diego, CA -- Sex Coach, Sexologist, Sexuality Speaker, Sociologist
If a vulva could sing and comment on Christmas carols, what might she say? Find out here as Mulva the Talking Vulva sings and shares her views on some holiday favorites. Some are silly, some sexist, and some are just plain creepy!
~Dr. Jenn Gunsaullus, San Diego, CA -- Sexologist, Sexuality Speaker, Sociologist, Sex Coach
I am not much into fashion. I wouldn’t know a ______ from a ______. (That’s how much I don’t know about fashion – I couldn’t even think of something clever to fill in the blanks. Apparently I need to watch more Sex and the City). What I do know is that how we dress and present ourselves to the world is a way to create our identity, place, and status. Women and men both do this through their choice of fashion, although the emphasis on appearance is greater for women, from underwear to outerwear.
A recent spoof on Victoria’s Secret unveiled a desire that young women have for empowering sexual messages in fashion. For many years Victoria’s Secret has had a “PINK” line of underwear and clothes, with panties displaying slogans like “Sure Thing.” Last week, a women’s anti-rape group created a mock online store, called “Pink Loves Consent,” designed to encourage healthy body image and consent during sex. These panties, worn by models of all sizes, read, Respect, Consent is Sexy, and I Love My Body, among others. The spoof was so convincing, Victoria’s Secret and social media sites were flooded with messages of support and excitement.
Victoria’s Secret “PINK” line markets to younger women and college women. However, when we’re younger, our fashion choices can have an impact on our developing self-esteem and self-image. And narrow-minded messages for girls and young women aren’t just in the underwear realm, but in the outerwear realm with messages on shirts like:
Allergic to Algebra. Math is Hard. Porn Star in Training. I’m too Pretty to Do Homework so my Brother has to do it for Me. Who Needs Brains when you Have These?
Why aren’t we trying to build the confidence of our young women? Unfortunately the mock Victoria’s Secret line of empowering messages does not exist. But there is a new, family company out of Denver, CO, who is taking on this task as a result of a dad’s disgust with these degrading messages. Keira’s Kollection has created a line of tops with messages like:
Be confident. Be brainy. Intelligent. Athletic. Adventurous. Different. Strong is Beautiful.
Wouldn’t that be a nice message under the Christmas tree this year? If you’d like to break this cycle and purchase an article of clothing with an empowering message for a young girl in your life, check out Keira’s Kollection. On a side note, they haven’t tackled the underwear realm, and I don’t know if they will, but I’d be curious to see what kinds of messages would be appropriate yet encouraging to young women? “I Know How to Please Myself” perhaps?
Obviously I’m impressed with their line and support their cause, and when I told them I was going to mention them in a blog, they kindly offered a 10% discount to my readers and friends until Christmas (use the “DRJENN” promo code!). Research shows that girls’ self-esteem peaks at age 9. I say let’s be part of the solution, instead of part of the problem.
~Dr. Jenn Gunsaullus, San Diego, CA -- Sociologist, Sex Coach, Sexuality Speaker, Sexologist
Your erotic intelligence is your knowledge, wisdom, and comfort in the erotic arena. I offer 5 questions to get you started in developing erotic intelligence between you and your partner. Why? Because any growth in this area can bring you closer to your partner, make you happier, and more satisfied.
~Dr. Jenn Gunsaullus, San Diego, CA -- Sexologist, Sexuality Speaker, Sociologist, Sex Coach
From: http://serafimabogomolova.com/2012/05/a-bad-day-you-bet/Have you ever been around someone who’s having a “bad day”? For whatever reason, some happenings in their day have not gone as planned, and they are in a bad mood. They’ve labeled the whole day as bad. They are not fun to be around, especially if it’s our significant other.
How we define undesirable happenings in our lives is very important. Sure, these happenings are not what we hoped for and they have negative consequences for us. But the extent of those consequences is up to us. If you are viewing the world through dark-colored glasses because you’re having a “bad day,” I guarantee more bad things will happen to you. The amount of “positive” or “negative” you experience every day is largely up to how you perceive and react to events.
Consider that a negative event doesn’t actually make your day bad. It just means that you’ve had a negative incident. It’s an isolated event that doesn’t have to lead to more negativity. The meaning that we ascribe to an event has a large impact on how we actually experience it.
This is relevant in relationships too. If you or your partner perceive unhappy events as ruining a whole day, it can bring you both down. It’s difficult to thrive together unless you both choose to shift to a broader and more optimistic outlook.
If you’re a person who views days as “good” or “bad,” consider how this is impacting your partner, friends, and coworkers. Next consider how you can choose to accept a bad event for what it is and deal with it, without making it bigger than that. One suggestion, if you find your mental path on a downward spiral, is to identify three things to appreciate that day. Know that it will make you and everyone around you happier.
(This was originally posted as part of Pacific San Diego Magazine's Relationship & Sex Blog series.)
~Dr. Jenn Gunsaullus, San Diego, CA -- Sexologist, Sex Coach, Sociologist, Sexuality Speaker
Why are sex and intimacy during the holidays important and helpful? And how can you make it a priority? I was interviewed along with Dr. Diana Hoppe, my colleague who is the founder of the Vibrantly You: Women's Wellbeing Symposium, on San Diego Living today. Dr. Diana shares research on how sex is actually healthy for us, I offer tips for how to bring intimacy into the holiday season, and we discuss the Vibrantly You Symposium on January 18, 2013.
~Dr. Jenn Gunsaullus, San Diego, CA -- Sexologist, Sex Coach, Sexuality Speaker, Sociologist
Dr. Jenn is a sociologist and relationship & sexuality speaker who challenges our cultural beliefs around sex, sexual consent, gender roles, and health intimacy, with a mindfulness and compassionate approach. Her site includes a sex blog, free sex education videos, sexuality speaking information, and mindfulness resources.
