In the BED with Dr. Jenn?! Answering your sex questions...

In the BED with Dr. Jenn?! Answering your sex questions...

What are your sex and intimacy questions? I'm answering your sex questions from the bed -- sometimes alone and sometimes with friends and colleagues -- to bring an intimate and vulnerable energy to your sexual concerns. The first question I'm answering?...

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The Wise Use of Sexual Energy -- Sivana Yoga Podcast

The Wise Use of Sexual Energy -- Sivana Yoga Podcast

Is chosen abstinence ever a good path in our sexual journeys?  This is the first time I really talked about the wise use of sexual energy. Brett Larkin, on her Sivana Yoga Podcast, interviewed me about some unique aspects of sex and sexual energy, and kept me on my toes!

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Orgasm too quickly? Afraid to initiate sex?

I answered two common sex questions in the March issue of Pacific San Diego Magazine. These questions delve into common misunderstandings and fears about sexual health and communication. The first one was from a young man whose girlfriend told him he came too quickly. And the second question is from a woman who doesn't know how to initiate sex with her husband without feeling ridiculous. Check out my answers below or at the At First Blush page.

~Dr. Jenn Gunsaullus, San Diego Sexologist, Sex Sociologist, Sexual Health Speaker

Top 5 Questions Women Ask a Sex Counselor

Sex is fun…and complicated! While there are a lot of biological components of sexuality, there are also a lot of social, mental and emotional aspects. These often get in the way of enjoying the pleasures of our bodies and the potential for deep connections with others. As a Relationship and Intimacy Counselor, I receive many questions from women about their sex lives; below are five of the most common questions I receive.

1. Am I normal? Is what we’re doing normal?

These questions come from a fear of being judged or not feeling good enough. There may be sexual statistical averages around activities and frequency and tastes, but what really matters is what you like and don’t like, and the same for your partner. You could be perfectly “average” and “normal,” but still have a miserable sex life! Each individual and couple needs to create their own “normal” based on their preferences, needs and desires.

2. Why don’t I feel desire any more? How can I feel passion again?

It is really common for women in long-term relationships to lose their desire. Desire is a tricky thing that we tend to take for granted in the early stages of a relationship. But once those neurochemicals wear off, most women and couples don’t know what to do. The first step is to redefine desire from something that happens to you, to something that you can cultivate. What primes your pump? By this I mean, what can your partner do that helps you feel open to being sexual? Is it doing the dishes for you, massaging your shoulders, or having an eye-to-eye conversation? Focus on what makes you feel loved and nurtured and also makes your partner seem appealing. The second thing you can do is to take responsibility for your own desire. What puts you in the mood, such as reading erotica, fantasizing, or touching yourself? Do these things regularly to kick-start your libido.

3. How can I request my sexual needs without feeling embarrassed?

Read the rest of this blog that I wrote for the Softcup Blog HERE.

~Dr. Jenn Gunsaullus, San Diego Sexologist, Sex Speaker, Sociologist