Sexual communication with a partner can be difficult for so many reasons: embarrassment, shame, fear of hurting their feelings, discomfort with vulnerability, or not knowing the right words to use. But not talking about sex concerns does not make those problems go away.
Here are a few suggestions:
- Start some conversations outside the bedroom, when you both feel less vulnerable.
- Always start with compliments and genuine praise, and perhaps reference a book, podcast, article, etc., that made you talk about some new things sexually. (This way your partner doesn’t think you’re totally unsatisfied and get defensive, even if you are ;) )
- Use a blend of authenticity and vulnerability…combined with mindfulness and compassion. Using this approach means that you are honest and real, but also kind and caring.
- It's ok to spread these conversations out over several discussions, so you don't feel overwhelmed and have time to think through these topics.
- AND, "pillow fights" don't have to be such a bad thing, since wrestling around and being playful is perfect to lighten the mood!
Watch the clip of Dr. Jenn being interviewed in a bed on San Diego Living about this topic!
~Dr. Jenn Gunsaullus, San Diego Sexologist, Sociologist, Sexuality Speaker