I don't usually share personal things about my sex life in my writing. However, in interviews and public speaking, when the energy is right and I think my personal story may be educationally helpful to others, I'm willing to do so. [One blatant example is my personal consent violation story: Sex & the Price of Masculinity.]
When I was approached by a writer for the HuffPost about National Orgasm Day, to explain what I need to do to have an orgasm, I thought it was one of those educational moments worthy of being more vulnerable. My orgasm is pretty specific and elusive at times, and I know other women struggle with the same thing, so I hoped sharing a bit of my personal style might help others:
"When I’m on my own, I need to be sitting up ― propped up against a pile of pillows, wall, or sofa ― to be able to orgasm. If I’m laying down, my clitoris hides too much under my clitoral hood and I can’t get enough stimulation. But when I sit up it’s more exposed and more easily directly stimulated by my vibrator. And I need a specific type of vibration ― a thuddy and more powerful motor. I recently shared this personal information with a female friend who was stunned to hear it and now cautiously optimistic about her own orgasmic potential. It had never occurred to her to try sitting up during clitoral stimulation!” ― Jennifer Gunsaullus, a sociologist and relationship and intimacy coach"
You can read the entire article by Brittany Wong, with lots of juicy orgasm nuggets, here: We Asked Women to Share Exactly What They Need to Do to Orgasm.
~Dr. Jenn Gunsaullus, Sociologist, Sexuality Speaker, & San Diego Sexologist