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~Dr. Jenn Gunsaullus, San Diego Sexologist, Sociologist, and Sex Speaker

Ask Yourself These 3 Questions -- Reduce Holiday Stress through Mindfulness

“Wander into the center of the circle of wonder.” This was a suggestion by Hongzhi Zhengjue, a Zen teacher in the 1100s. Consider how perfect this is for the holidays. Our minds wander a lot. The holidays are about wonderment and joy. But we are often so far off-track from this and wandering without awareness, we can’t enjoy the wonder of the holidays and without getting mired in habit and negativity.

What are your top priorities of the holidays? Often people will say food, family, quality time, shopping for presents, parties, and juggling many priorities.

What are the values of the holidays? Perhaps these resonate with you: love, appreciation, time with loved ones, generosity, belief, laughter, pleasure.

But what gets in the way of living these values? Stress, over-juggling, materialism and consumerism, trying to please others out of guilt, decorations and food to “perfection,” and focusing on the above priorities without being present, grateful, or recognizing your choices.

So if you find yourself feeling off-track these holidays, or feeling overwhelmed with resentment, frustration, guilt, judgment, or sadness, use these three questions to guide you back on course:

  1. Am I present and aware in this moment? (And do I have compassion for myself and others in this moment?)
  2. Am I grateful for myself and others? (And if I’m writing this down, or sharing verbally with others, am I including details about WHY I’m grateful and WHAT it means to me?)
  3. Am I making healthy choices? (Consider whether you’re realizing and owning that you’re making decisions, and consider if those choices are in your highest interest.)

I suggest writing these three questions down on sticky notes and posting them in places that will break you from your automatic patterns, and remind you that you can do things differently if you’d like. Being present in any moment helps us observe more accurately what’s actually happening, versus being on automatic pilot and reactive. Wonder and awe live in the spontaneity of a moment. So take a few deep breaths, observe with gratitude your surroundings, and make a choice to nurture and love yourself through wonder.

~Dr. Jenn Gunsaullus, San Diego Sexuality Speaker, Sexologist, Sex & Mindfulness Speaker

(The lovely image was borrowed from this site.)

TEDx Talk on Sex & Female Sexual Shame

Discussing Sexual Shame in TEDxTalk on SexSexual shame impacts us all. I delved into sexual shame around the world, specifically for women, in my second TEDx Talk, presented on September 27, 2014, at TEDxPhoenixville in the suburbs of Philadelphia. I led the audience on a journey that explored global perspectives, their personal experiences, and how we all have a role in doing something different to improve female sexual empowerment. I really do believe that we're all in this together, and that compassion towards ourselves, our partners, our communities, and people around the world is vital regarding sexuality. Please spread the word!

~Dr. Jenn Gunsaullus, San Diego Sexologist, Sociologist, Sex Speaker, Sex Counselor

TEDxPhoenixville 2014 Photos

Sex, Drugs, and Rock 'n Roll? Sign me up! That was the theme of the 5th annual TEDxPhoenixville event on September 27, 2014. I brought a heavier slant to the theme as a speaker about female sexual disempowerment, shame, and personal responsibility, and concluded by giving the audience a voice to take a stand for something different. It was really cool to have Kelly Stoetzel, the Content Director for TED, as our event emcee. The Colonial Theater (site of The Blob movie) did a wonderful job organizing the event (with the help of over 50 volunteers). And we had the last-minute bonus of a performance by a real rock 'n roller - Eric Bazilian of The Hooters! It was such a fun, powerful, community-minded day, I wanted to share some of the photos with you here :)

~Dr. Jenn Gunsaullus, San Diego Sexologist, Sociologist, Sexuality Speaker

Couples Workshops in San Diego

Being in a relationship is a wonderful experience AND it takes awareness, communication, and work to stay on track. I'm offering weekend workshops for couples to improve their communication and get them back on the same page in their commitment to the things that matter.

Benefits of Attending:

  • Improve communication skills
  • Learn to cultivate mindfulness techniques
  • Increase play and creativity in your relationship
  • Learn to speak each other's love language
  • Focus on appreciation and acknowledgements
  • Deepen intimacy
  • Learn to focus on sensual enjoyment
  • Learn how to check-in with what's most important

Next Weekend Couples Workshop:

April 4-6, 2014

Friday night: 6-9pm
Saturday: Specific activities on your own (as determined Friday night)
Sunday: 1-5pm

For more information, visit this page for Weekend Couples Workshops in San Diego.

~Dr. Jenn Gunsaullus, San Diego Sociologist, Sexuality Speaker, Intimacy Counselor

Conscious Dating in San Diego

What is conscious dating? Hopefully we already want to be awake for our dates, so this is a different type of consciousness. By conscious dating, I mean being aware, vulnerable, authentic, and compassionate. When you think about all the game-playing and uncertainty around dating, you can already tell how different this approach it.

On Friday, February 28, I'll be speaking about Conscious Dating as part of the Pacific College of Oriential Medicine's (PCOM) monthly Pop!TALK series. Although you're welcome to sit back, listen, and soak it in, I'm looking forward to audience interaction so we can all partake in furthering this important conversation.

Tickets are only $5 in advance and PCOM is located in the Mission Valley area of San Diego. Email poptalk@pacificcollege.edu to reserve your $5 ticket, or pay $10 at the door. Doors open 6:30pm. See you there!

~Dr. Jenn Gunsaullus, San Diego Sexologist, Sexuality Speaker, Sociologist