DVD Release Party - Cooking Up Seduction

Cooking Up Seduction artfully weaves culinary delights with erotic sensuality. Both Jenn's will be on hand to answer questions, sign DVDs, and arouse your senses. Join the party!

DATE: Thursday, April 15, 2010
TIME: 6pm - 9pm
PLACE: Tango Wine Bar
2161 India Street, San Diego, CA 92101
PRICE: Free, wine available for purchase
N0 RSVP Necessary

~~Free Raffle~~Complimentary Chocolates~~DVDs for sale

To learn more about the DVD and topics, visit: Cooking Up Seduction

Jennifer Gunsaullus, Ph.D.

Sex Therapy & Relationship Counseling in San Diego

Men with The Vagina Monologues? The MENding Monologues

The male version of The Vagina Monologues. So, it's about penises? No, actually, in my opinion it is a play that is way more creative and socially conscious. As their website explains, it's "a love letter to women, a healing for men, and a call to end violence in all its forms."

A couple weeks ago, Diversionary Theater in San Diego hosted several performances of Eve Ensler's The Vagina Monologues, as well as the much newer MENding Monologues. My friend and co-creator Chef Jenn treated me to the MENding Monologues as a birthday present and as an experience to add to our repetoire of knowledge for our Cooking Up Seduction enterprise. We sat in the front row. We weren't going to miss a thing.

The opening scene sent chills down my arms. Fifteen women sat on stage. Women? I recognized them as the cast for The Vagina Monologues. One by one the men of the show walked out from different sides of the stage, and while making a powerful statement, took a standing position behind each woman. "You think I'm the guy who slips roofies into your drink." I wish I could remember more of the exact phrases uttered as they brought to glaring awareness the number of negative predatorial assumptions we can make about men. Once the men were all in place, each woman stood, inviting the man to take her seat, speaking about the need for us to work together to address these topics that impact us all: respect, abuse, violence, communication, gender roles, and empowerment.

Already I was moved by the risk they were taking to tackle these topics.

Similar to The Vagina Monologues, this play is a mix of individual monologues and group pieces, ranging from hysterically poignant, to creative and thought-provoking, to moving and deeply disturbing. A man discussing the impotence he feels when witnessing a neighbor's abuse and being powerless to stop it. Gay men discussing how they don't love vagina, but that they can get behind loving the concept of symbolism of "vagina." A labiaplasty doctor explaining how women surgically alter their vulvas. A boy's despair when a trusted family priest inappropriately touched him. A young soldier returning home to his family and questioning who are the real heroes. Learning tantric practices. Appreciating women. Witnessing birth. Male hair removal. This play offered an array of insightful perspectives on masculinity and femininity, what we do with them, and how we live with it.

I was impressed. As a sociologist specializing in gender and sexuality, I am particularly critical of social commentary on such topics. But the nuances and depth of the MENding Monologues allowed the audience to be entertained, moved, and challenged. I don't want to reveal too many of the specifics of the pieces because I hope you will have the chance to see the show, view the DVD, or purchase the script and have your own experience of the material.

We do have a lot of mending to do as individuals, communities, and a society. This play's power is in avoiding the simple band-aid approach to fixing social problems and gender relations. They offer a paradigm shift to a vision of true appreciation, healing, and unity.

Learn more about the play and creators at their MENding monologues website.

Jennifer Gunsaullus, Ph.D.

Sex Therapy & Relationship Counseling in San Diego

Pornography: Love It or Hate It?

The February 2010 issue of Vision Magazine has the theme of "Sexual Politics." I was thrilled to write an article for them about pornography, a topic ripe for discussions of sexual and gender politics. Below is the beginning of the article; click on the link to read the entire article.

A recent Canadian study measuring the impact of pornography on 20-something-year-old men was unexpectedly cancelled. The reason? Researchers were unable to find a control group of men in their 20s who had not consumed pornography. I think that many men would chuckle after hearing this. And I think that many women could be dismayed—especially the women who are dating those 20-something-year-old men. Pornography is a loaded topic, evoking both titillation and deep discomfort. However, the typical knee-jerk reactions do little to help us understand the complexity of this prevalent yet taboo topic.

Pornography touches on many people’s deepest fears and desires—namely sex, pleasure, power, gender relations, idealized beauty, trust, guilt, and self-worth. For this reason, a better understanding of its personal impact is advantageous. The term pornography in this article refers to visual depictions of sexual behavior intended to arouse the viewer through the Internet, DVDs, and cable shows. This article focuses on gender differences, and the potential harms and benefits of pornography consumption.

It is not surprising to learn that males are much more likely to enjoy and consume pornography than females. While there is “feminist” pornography, directed by women and featuring more plot, romance, and foreplay, mainstream pornography is primarily created by and for men. Men tend to enjoy visual stimulation more, and seek out sexual novelty.

I asked a 39-year-old single male to explain the appeal of daily viewing of porn online. “I find it titillating—I use it for masturbatory fodder,” he openly responded. “It’s lazier mentally because it’s easier; it’s right there. I don’t have to conjure up an image. Looking at porn moves the process along more rapidly.”

Click HERE for entire article.

Jennifer Gunsaullus, Ph.D.

Sex Therapy & Relationship Counseling in San Diego

The value of Journaling for emotional expression

When counseling women and men, I often suggest journaling topics for homework. The topics are usually heavy or uncomfortable emotions, with questions to answer in a free-form writing assignment. Although some folks resist writing activities, I know that it can be a way to use stream of consciousness to tap into hidden beliefs and values. And the process can help get to the core of troubling emotional or behavioral patterns.

One of my specialties in couples counseling is facilitating between the different communication and emotional expression styles that women and men have. I just found the following discussion at About.com on Men's Health and the potential benefit of writing to specifically assist men in expressing emotions:

"A well known psychologist, James Pennebaker, has demonstrated that emotional expressions can benefit health by the simple device of keeping a diary. The diary provides a outlet for emotional expression and not only appears to have a positive emotional effect but improves immune function as well. In fact written emotional expression has been researched in terms of benefits to physical health, physiological functioning and daily living activities; in each case with positive findings. Could the simple act of keeping a diary be a useful compromise for men and bridge the gap between their inability to transmit, receive and manage emotional messages? (Source: adapted from Lee, C & Glynn Owens, R (2002) The Psychology of Men's Health. Open University Press.)"

I think writing a journal for one's own benefit is a powerful access to creativity and emotions. As well, I suggest writing letters to your partner if verbal expression of emotions is difficult for you. This is a great step towards strengthening your self expression and connection.

Jennifer Gunsaullus, Ph.D.

Sex Therapy & Relationship Counseling in San Diego

Cooking Up Seduction Video Teaser

Introducing the new video series with Chef Jenn & Dr. Jenn...

Cooking Up Seduction
~Where the culinary arts
meet the erotic arts~

How do you make love to an orange?
Click HERE to view this show teaser on YouTube.

EPISODE TOPICS
1. Home-made Chocolate Body Paint
2. Sensual Eating
3. Luscious Peach Cobbler
4. Edible Body Dust
5. Home-made Sex Ornaments
6. Sexy Human Sundae

The shows are in the process of being edited...

If you would like to be notified when these erotic cooking shows become available, and you're not already on Dr. Jenn's Den monthly mailing list, create an account to become a free Den Member and receive a monthly Den update. Or email Dr. Jenn with questions.

Jennifer Gunsaullus, Ph.D.

Sex Therapy & Relationship Counseling in San Diego

What is bliss? Why is it worth "finding"?

I was lying flat on my mat. It was time for savasana at the conclusion of a rigorous yoga class. I felt happy and relaxed…but there was something else. It was an overwhelming feeling of joyful contentment. I was surprised to recognize that I was feeling blissful.

The term bliss is perhaps more often used regarding sensual delights such as consuming a dark chocolate ganache, the deep calm after experiencing waves of multiple orgasm, or the emotional context of a wedding. I believe there are many paths to bliss. I think the yoga class opened a pathway to bliss because of its holistic approach to the body. Not only did I physically exert myself, but I was also mentally proud of my accomplishments and emotionally soothed through the deep breathing. Socially I had created positive energy and shared this connection with other yoga students. And spiritually I felt integrated as a full being.

What comes to mind when you think of bliss for yourself? What contexts and experiences induce blissful feelings? It can be helpful to use a holistic breakdown to approach this topic, like I did with my yoga example. Are there activities that merge many facets of yourself and open the space for bliss? We all have experiences that assist in achieving this state, whether it’s a massage, the flow of dance movements, viewing an expansive vista on a hike, or watching a baby sleep. Choosing these means you are exposing yourself to experiences that allow for your release to the splendor of the moment.

Why do we care about bliss? If there is an opposite state to stress and anxiety, this is it. Perhaps bliss is always within us, available to tap into by removing blocks and accepting what is there. Regardless of how you find it, creating paths to your own bliss can help remind you that it’s all going to be ok. And that’s a beautiful feeling.

Jennifer Gunsaullus, Ph.D.

Sex Therapy & Relationship Counseling in San Diego