Cougar: Sex Fiend or Friendly Pussy

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Dr. Jenn has a heated discussion with Spicy Suzy and Jane about the term Cougar to determine if cougar is offensive, the social interpretation of cougar, and whether our society can handle a woman in charge of her sexuality.

SPECIAL GUESTS:
Spicy Suzy& Plain Jane

THE DEN RECOMMEND:
The Return of Desire, by Gina Ogden

Focus on What's Working

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Complain. Bitch. Moan.

It’s easy to do this when we’ve been in a relationship for a while. We may take the positive things for granted and just expect them to be there. We are programed as animals to notice what is not working because this keeps our focus on survival. But how many of us just want to be surviving our relationships?

It feels a lot better to be focused on thriving. And when we focus on what’s working, it also gives us hope.

Try focusing on what is working instead of what is not working. This strengths-based approach lets you see what you’re already good at and realize that there is a lot of foundation to build on. Do an activity with your partner where you both choose several strengths (a minimum of three) that you have in life and/or in your relationship. Such strengths could include clear communicator, humor, honesty, creativity, or perseverance. Now think about how you can each expand your strengths to other areas that you may be struggling in. Often what works well in some areas will work well in others, if you can creatively expand it. Also, being positive instead of negative has been found in research to expand our capacity for inventive solutions. This is a powerful tool to break through feeling stuck in your relationship and move to thriving.

Jennifer Gunsaullus, Ph.D.

Sex Therapy & Relationship Counseling in San Diego

The 10 Commandments of Sex & Food

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In preparation for this evening's "Cooking Up Seduction" presentation with Chef Jenn, I created this list of tips and ideas for mindful eating for a healthy sex life.

Ten Commandments of Sex & Food

  1. Many fresh fruits are sensual and nutritious; choose 5 of different colors and create a fruit plate of foreplay.
  2. Eating small amounts of dark chocolate is not only pleasing to your taste buds, it also raises your body’s endorphins.
  3. Double the amount of time you usually spend eating a meal and chew each bite longer to truly experience the food.
  4. Pay attention to all five senses when you’re in the bedroom and be present to the pleasant sensations in the moment.
  5. Create your own aphrodisiacs – take turns once a week preparing or buying a meal or special food item that is all about pleasing your partner.
  6. Eat a rainbow of fresh vegetables regularly for the high fiber and vitamins and minerals. A healthy you can lead to a healthy sex drive.
  7. Spend 20 minutes eating an orange, alone or with a partner; be mindful of what it is like to make love to that orange.
  8. If you are going to indulge in foods that you think are guilty pleasures, don’t feel guilty and just enjoy the experience (and the pleasures).
  9. Never put sweet items in your vagina because the sugar can increase the chance of a bacterial infection.
  10. Avoid foods that make you feel bloated and sluggish (e.g., fried foods, refined carbohydrates, rich cream sauces, saturated fats, or excessive sugar) – it doesn’t feel sexy!

Jennifer Gunsaullus, Ph.D.

Sex Therapy & Relationship Counseling in San Diego

Conscious Eating for Sexier Living

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Dr. Jenn talks with Heather Fleming, Nutritionist and Pilates Instructor, about enjoying food and healthy & conscious eating as opposed to emotional eating and filling the body with comfort foods.

SPECIAL GUEST:
Heather Fleming, Nutritionist at Conscious Nutrition

THE DEN RECOMMEND:
The Pleasure Zone, by Stella Resnick, Ph.D.

The Intimacy of Sound and Rhythm

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Dr. Jenn talks with Kat Fulton, a Music Therapist, about how sound, music, and rhythm can play an important role in sexuality.

SPECIAL GUEST:
Kat Fulton, MM, MT-BC, Music Therapist

THE DEN RECOMMEND:
Tantra of Sound, by Jonathan Goldman and Andi Goldman

Tantric Sex for Women's Healing and Pleasure

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Dr. Jenn talks with Kamala Devi, a tantra, sex, and relationship coach, about sexual healing and modern day tantra. How can tantric sex assist in healing sexual wounds?

SPECIAL GUEST:
Kamala Devi, Tantra Teacher

THE DEN RECOMMEND:
Mating in Captivity, by Esther Perel