How Do Men Answer Tough Dating Questions? Sex Therapist Dr. Jenn on Fox 5 News

Have you been cheated on? What do you think about paying for meals? What about women who are dominant in the bedroom?

I was interviewed as a San Diego Sex Therapist on the Fox 5 Morning News last week, and this is Part 2 of the segment we did with seven bachelors (Part 1 is HERE). They handled themselves very well :) I was on the news promoting an event called Everything You Ever Wanted to Know About the Opposite Sex.

CLICK ON PHOTO TO VIEW VIDEO

~Dr. Jenn Gunsaullus, San Diego Sex Therapy, Marriage Counseling, College Sexual Health Speaker

DVD Review of Beauty Mark: Body Image & the Race for Perfection

Contemporary Sexuality, December, 2011, Vol. 45, No. 12

In this documentary, psychotherapist Diane Israel chronicles her personal journey with obsessive exercising and eating disorders. Throughout her troubled childhood and years as a champion triathlete, she was terrified of becoming fat. Her journey to understanding attractiveness and love brought her face-to-face with America’s cultural ideals about beauty and competition. In “Beauty Mark,” Israel offers cultural commentary from experts, including Eve Ensler, Naomi Wolf and the Dove “Real Beauty” campaign research group. In a bold and touching conclusion, Israel brings her narrative back full circle to her family to share their perspectives.

I had mixed reactions after my initial viewing of “Beauty Mark.” Based on the documentary description, I expected an academic study of body image concerns and how the media creates or exacerbates these. However, this was Israel’s personal tale of body struggle, competitiveness, family dysfunction and transformation. The story went in many directions, without depth of explanation. And, although the conclusion with her family was heart wrenching and brought tears, I was left wanting more. What happened next? What can we do about this? Gratefully, I found the DVD bonus feature, in which Israel shares details of her life two years after the filming. This quenched my need to know how she was dealing with her family and personal demons and what is working for her in recovery.

With such mixed feelings, I showed the DVD to my Women & Health college class. My students are primarily women with an average age of 21. Their anonymous written feedback was overwhelmingly positive. My students were touched by Israel’s story. They thought the mes- sage was personally valuable for validation and hope. They also found it educational for college women overall. We did not have time to view the bonus feature, yet only a few students voiced a sense of incompleteness. They specifically wanted to know how Israel helps her clients with their body image concerns.

Israel concludes there is no single factor to blame for her self-loathing. This realization and her acceptance of herself allowed her to return home. I think this is a powerful and thought-provoking documentary for high school and college students. The final message, with a shift from blaming to acceptance, by way of courage and compassion, is a lesson for all.

Beauty Mark: Body Image & the Race for Perfection By Diane Israel, Carla Precht and Kathleen Man. She-Art Production. DVD, $250.

~Dr. Jenn Gunsaullus, San Diego, CA -- Sex Therapy, Marriage Counseling, College Sexual Health Speaker

Fox 5 News - Get in the Mysterious Minds of Men

CLICK ON PHOTO TO WATCH VIDEO.I was interviewed this morning on Fox 5 News, to promote the "Everything You Ever Wanted to Know About the Opposite Sex" event I'm a part of next week. They had 7 eligible bachelors in the studio, and myself along with morning anchors Heather Ford and Raoul Martinez, asked them individual questions about dating, women, and attraction. I don't think these guys knew what they were getting themselves into, but they really did a great job answering the questions, and I had the opportunity to comment on their responses.

~Dr. Jenn Gunsaullus -- San Diego Sex Therapy, Marriage Counseling, College Sexual Health Speaker

What is Tantra? Is it Different for Women & Men? #139

Dr. Jenn interviews Tantra Teacher & Counselor, Shawn Roop, about the definition of tantra as a spiritual & sexual journey. Shawn also shares important differences between women and men in their pursuit of spiritual sexuality.

Sexual Fun Fact
According to a new Australian study, what percentage of women regularly experience post sex depression or what's officially called post-coital dysphoria?

Special Den Sex-tion
Sex Position of the Day - "The Found a Penny"

~Dr. Jenn, San Diego Sex Therapy, Marriage Counseling, & College Sexual Health Speaker

Everything You Ever Wanted to Know about the Opposite Sex

Well, mabye not EVERYTHING! But this event is a good opportunity to glean some insights into the opposite sex regarding intimacy, dating, communication, sex, and relationships. Having more information like this, helps us respect and understand men and women better, and therefore have better and happier relationships. There will be a panel of experts to answer your questions, ranging from sex therapist (me), dating coach, love coach, and marriage & family therapist.

Tuesday, December 6, 2011, 6-8:30pm, $20/$35 in advance for singles/couples

Marina Village Conference Center, San Diego, CA

Learn more and register HERE.

~Dr. Jenn Gunsaullus -- San Diego, CA -- Sex Therapy, Marriage Counseling, and College Sexual Health Speaker

Don't Trust Your Intuition

“I’m just feelin’ it, so I’m going to go with it.”

When the topic of intuition comes up, I find that people often fall into two camps: either they don’t listen to or trust their intuition, or they trust it too much. Interestingly, this realm of “intuition” seems to be the province of women. Tapping into, listening to, acting upon, or speaking about intuition is a gendered topic, perhaps because “knowledge from the brain” is considered masculine and “knowledge from the body” is considered feminine. Unfortunately, these gender restrictions impair us all, as we all have inner wisdom ready to guide us.
 
I believe intuition reveals in layers, and the more we can gain deep knowledge about ourselves, the more we can understand the nuances of our inner voice. Intuition often shows up as a gut feeling and knowing. Having a “feeling” about something may be your intuition. However, patterned behaviors based on fears and past negative experiences can also show up as a gut feeling. It may be an anxiety reaction or your ego defending itself and needing to feel right. These are clearly different in origin.
 
I’ve found that my intuition is quite strong and accurate when I’m fully present and aware in a situation, and when I’m in a state of open-heartedness or compassion. However, if I’m feeling threatened emotionally or one of my emotional triggers has been activated, I react from defensiveness and hurt, not from intuition. It seems to be a difference between being receptive or being reactive. Sometimes, it’s hard to tell the difference.
 
What can we do to develop this discernment? Research strongly points to the practice of mindfulness meditation. Daily practices of sitting quietly, with focus on breath, the present moment, and observing thoughts and bodily sensations without judgment, develops an important part of our prefrontal cortex. Creating more neural connections in this brain area strengthens impulse control, awareness, insight, empathy, and…intuition. I recommend starting with 10 minutes of quiet awareness as a daily commitment. It’s pretty amazing that “doing nothing” can offer all these skills! If you’d like more information on putting this into practice, read "Learning to Trust Yourself" or visit the resources on the Mindsight Website.