Some folks in the United States believe that we have a problem with how mainstream masculinity is taught, implemented, and enforced. And some other folks are pissed about this belief….Read More
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Mormon sex! A topic that's not often discussed publicly, but I was happy to be interviewed for a 2nd time by a Mormon Sex Therapist. We discussed my sexual consent video, and in her words: "Dr. Gunsaullus offers us a rare and vulnerable look into the complexities of consent. Not the type of consent that is obvious (i.e. don't rape a woman when she is unconscious or inebriated), but..."Read More
When you think of a feminist, let alone a vocal feminist, you probably don't visualize a former professional football player. The hyper-masculinity of professional football encourages the opposite of feminist ideals. But athlete-turned-actor, Terry Crews, recently wrote a book called Manhood: How to Be a Better Man -- Or Just Live with One and is taking a stand to embrace feminism, and redefine masculinity.
No, this doesn't mean making men like women. It means cultivating vulnerability in men, to be able to say that they're scared, that they don't have an answer or solution, or that they feel weak. I believe that this is the definition of true courage, true strength. But mainstream maculinity, taught to many boys growing up, is that their emotional fears are shameful. If we want men to view each other and women as fully human, and deserving of respect, we need to allow and encourage men to develop a full range of human emotions and the ability (and safety) to express these emotions.
This is the kind of vulnerability that leads to true intimacy. Like Crews states in the video interview below, true intimacy is "to be known." I know that for most men and women, "to be known" is what they most desperately want, but most desperately fear.
We live in a world where an 23-year-old woman was attacked (and later died) in a fast food parking lot because earlier that day, she had the courage to defend two teen girls from male harassment. Crews' words are poignant and he takes on the challenge of being a role model. He states, "We're not battling individuals, we are battling a mindset." Yes. And mindsets come from cultural gender teachings. So what are you teaching to the next generation of boys? Respect for themselves (in all their strengths and weaknesses) with compassion for others...or something else?
(Photo of Terry Crews pulled from this webpage.)
~Dr. Jenn Gunsaullus, San Diego -- Sociologist, Sexologist, Sex Speaker
Should women fight the aging process and cling to youth, so that they can feel and be perceived as sexy and attractive? I was interviewed on Channel 6's San Diego Living this morning about an Allure Magazine research study that just came out about beauty, aging, gender, and sex. My first thought is to question the source, since Allure Magazine is a "woman's magazine," which are notorious for emphasizing ideal physical appearance and youth for women. They did hire a marketing research company, but I'd like to get my hands on the survey and see how some of the questions were phrased. Nonetheless, we discuss this on the morning show, and how shifting perspective is the only way women can get off the beauty hamster wheel.
~Dr. Jenn Gunsaullus, San Diego, CA -- Sociologist, Sexologist, Sexuality Speaker