Conscious Dating in San Diego

What is conscious dating? Hopefully we already want to be awake for our dates, so this is a different type of consciousness. By conscious dating, I mean being aware, vulnerable, authentic, and compassionate. When you think about all the game-playing and uncertainty around dating, you can already tell how different this approach it.

On Friday, February 28, I'll be speaking about Conscious Dating as part of the Pacific College of Oriential Medicine's (PCOM) monthly Pop!TALK series. Although you're welcome to sit back, listen, and soak it in, I'm looking forward to audience interaction so we can all partake in furthering this important conversation.

Tickets are only $5 in advance and PCOM is located in the Mission Valley area of San Diego. Email poptalk@pacificcollege.edu to reserve your $5 ticket, or pay $10 at the door. Doors open 6:30pm. See you there!

~Dr. Jenn Gunsaullus, San Diego Sexologist, Sexuality Speaker, Sociologist

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How to Flirt Through Texts...and How NOT To (On Channel 6 News)

Flirting through texting is a good thing - seriously. I don't think that technology today is interfering with all real communication, and flirting is a good example of something that can be facilitated and potentially enhanced through the media of texting. I spoke about the Dos and Don'ts of flirting through texting today, specifically for folks who are over 40 years old, on Channel 6's Wake Up San Diego. Check out the video posted below, and I've included some other thoughts below I didn't have time to articulate on the news.

I see 3 different categories of flirting through texting: Playful/teasing, romantic, and sexual. The playful version is like the teasing we did as teenagers by our lockers in high school (or was that just me?). For example, if your object of interest is reading poetry, make a cute jab about them "being a brooding poet," and include a winking emoticon so they know you're kidding. I just watched a young woman and man do this type of teasing bantering in a cafe recently. It was ridiculously transparent to the point of annoyance (to me, at least). But doing through texting, where no one else has to witness, is a good idea!

The romantic version of flirting through texting can be incredibly sweet, and the type of texts that girlfriends swoon over and share with friends. This is your chance to offer a genuine compliment - a funny memory from a recent date, a feature you love about them, or even a quote that expresses how your feel. Also, remembering to ask about something important about their day, such as a big meeting or their child's doctor appointment, can feel very nurturing on the receiving end.

And finally - sexting! This definitely gets the most attention and needs to be done with care. Two "don'ts" off the bat: Don't send naked photos and don't text late at night when drunk. I hear about frequent regrets in these areas. But DO plant the seeds for sexual banter, such as "I just got out of the shower," and let the intensity slowly build.

Don't use texting for long conversations better left to phone or email, but also don't write really short responses if you're interested in the other person and they are writing in more depth. In addition, if most of your relationship is unfolding via text and not in person, your date may not be willing to commit and you might want to move on. Do YOU have any flirting through texting lessons you learned the hard way?

~Dr. Jenn Gunsaullus -- San Diego, Sexologist, Sociologist, Sexuality Speaker

Safe First Date Tips - San Diego Living

I'm not a fear monger and don't like to put folks into fear mode. On the only hand, there are some simple smarts tips that are valuable to keep in mind on a first date, so that you stay safe and in control! I was interviewed on San Diego Living this week about safe first date tips and early red flags in dating.

~Dr. Jenn Gunsaullus, San Diego - Sexologist, Sociologist, Sexuality Speaker

Safer Sex & Baby Boomer Women - A Sex Researcher Speaks, #142

In this episode, Dr. Jenn interviews Rose Hartzell, PhD, a sex therapist, about the sexual risks faced by baby boomer women. Many older women don't know they are at risk!

SEXUAL FUN FACT
What does the male red-back spider do after it has sex with a female red-back spider?

SPECIAL DEN SEX-TION
Female erotic plasticity -- What's THAT mean?!

~Dr. Jenn Gunsaullus, San Diego, CA -- Sex Therapy, Marriage Counseling, and College Sexual Health Speaker

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