Easy Sex Tips to Try Now...on Wake Up San Diego (Ch. 6)

Forget the complicated Kama Sutra that justs sits on your shelf and overwhelms you! Here are some simple tips you can do right away and continually to keep you more intimately connected to your partner. We focused more on fun than educational content in this piece, but hopefully you can laugh along with us :)

~Dr. Jenn Gunsaullus, San Diego -- Sexologist, Sociologist, Sexuality Speaker

How to Flirt Through Texts...and How NOT To (On Channel 6 News)

Flirting through texting is a good thing - seriously. I don't think that technology today is interfering with all real communication, and flirting is a good example of something that can be facilitated and potentially enhanced through the media of texting. I spoke about the Dos and Don'ts of flirting through texting today, specifically for folks who are over 40 years old, on Channel 6's Wake Up San Diego. Check out the video posted below, and I've included some other thoughts below I didn't have time to articulate on the news.

I see 3 different categories of flirting through texting: Playful/teasing, romantic, and sexual. The playful version is like the teasing we did as teenagers by our lockers in high school (or was that just me?). For example, if your object of interest is reading poetry, make a cute jab about them "being a brooding poet," and include a winking emoticon so they know you're kidding. I just watched a young woman and man do this type of teasing bantering in a cafe recently. It was ridiculously transparent to the point of annoyance (to me, at least). But doing through texting, where no one else has to witness, is a good idea!

The romantic version of flirting through texting can be incredibly sweet, and the type of texts that girlfriends swoon over and share with friends. This is your chance to offer a genuine compliment - a funny memory from a recent date, a feature you love about them, or even a quote that expresses how your feel. Also, remembering to ask about something important about their day, such as a big meeting or their child's doctor appointment, can feel very nurturing on the receiving end.

And finally - sexting! This definitely gets the most attention and needs to be done with care. Two "don'ts" off the bat: Don't send naked photos and don't text late at night when drunk. I hear about frequent regrets in these areas. But DO plant the seeds for sexual banter, such as "I just got out of the shower," and let the intensity slowly build.

Don't use texting for long conversations better left to phone or email, but also don't write really short responses if you're interested in the other person and they are writing in more depth. In addition, if most of your relationship is unfolding via text and not in person, your date may not be willing to commit and you might want to move on. Do YOU have any flirting through texting lessons you learned the hard way?

~Dr. Jenn Gunsaullus -- San Diego, Sexologist, Sociologist, Sexuality Speaker

Safe First Date Tips - San Diego Living

I'm not a fear monger and don't like to put folks into fear mode. On the only hand, there are some simple smarts tips that are valuable to keep in mind on a first date, so that you stay safe and in control! I was interviewed on San Diego Living this week about safe first date tips and early red flags in dating.

~Dr. Jenn Gunsaullus, San Diego - Sexologist, Sociologist, Sexuality Speaker

Sex in the Office & Booty Calls?

I was interviewed for the June issue of Men's Health Magazine about the topics of sex in the office and booty calls. These are not topics that I generally discuss in much depth, but I appreciated the opportunity to offer my two cents (which is often more about responsibility and respect, than titillation). My main perspective on sex in the office is to not be foolish about it, in terms of too much risk-taking, irritating your co-workers, or leaving a mess behind (no one likes to find someone else's pubic hairs on their desk in the morning). It is a fantasy for some and can be quite exciting because of its taboo and passionate nature. If this is the case, also consider seeking out other taboo settings (e.g., nature) where the risk of losing respect or your job are not on the line.

Regarding booty calls or the more relevant booty texts, I say be respectful. Remember that regardless of how much you say you only want sex, that is still another human being on the other end, with emotions, insecurities, and needs for connection (just like you). Sometimes booty texts are flattering and exciting, but in the long run they can lead to disappointment and feeling used. So appreciate and honor the person you're hooking up with and make sure their needs are being met too. And don't show up sloppy drunk - that's not fun sex for anyone!

~Dr. Jenn Gunsaullus, San Diego, CA -- Sociologist, Sexuality Speaker, and Sexologist

5 Secrets to Real Intimacy

Dr. Jenn on San Diego Living this morning! (I apologize that the embedding function isn't working well for some unknown reason. View on the San Diego Living site if that works better.)

What is intimacy and why is it important in relationships? I discussed this on San Diego Living and offered 5 "secrets" to help you continue to connect deeply with your partner and honor your relationship.

~Dr. Jenn Gunsaullus, San Diego, CA -- Sociologist, Sexologist, Sexuality Speaker

Sex Life for Busy Moms - Dr. Jenn on Ch. 6 San Diego Living

It's OK that sex for many couples is different after having kids. Accept that things have changed, such as your body, free time, priorities, etc., and get creative in how you can prioritize intimacy time. If one person really misses the sex, then this is a concern for both partners. I discuss this topic on San Diego Living and offer some ideas to make small but important shifts.

~Dr. Jenn Gunsaullus, San Diego, CA -- Sociologist, Sexologist, Sexuality Speaker