One Billion Rising - San Diego 2013

For Valentine's Day this year, take a stand for love in a new way. Stand up, demand change, and dance.

ONE IN THREE WOMEN ON THE PLANET

WILL BE RAPED OR BEATEN IN HER LIFETIME.

ONE BILLION WOMEN VIOLATED IS AN ATROCITY.

ONE BILLION WOMEN DANCING IS A REVOLUTION.

From Foundation for Women: http://www.foundationforwomen.org/On V-Day’s 15th Anniversary, February 14, 2013, we are inviting ONE BILLION women and those who love them to WALK OUT, DANCE, RISE UP, and DEMAND an end to this violence. ONE BILLION RISING will move the earth, activating women and men across every country. V-Day wants the world to see our collective strength, our numbers, our solidarity across borders.

What does ONE BILLION look like? On February 14, 2013, it will look like a REVOLUTION.

ONE BILLION RISING IS:

A global strike

An invitation to dance

A call to men and women to refuse to participate in the status quo until rape and rape culture ends

An act of solidarity, demonstrating to women the commonality of their struggles and their power in numbers

A refusal to accept violence against women and girls as a given

A new time and a new way of being 

San Diego details:

2:14pm - Walk out of work

4:30pm - March downtown starting at City Hall

6:30pm - Speakers, entertainers, & dancing at Organ Pavillion in Balboa Park

Please visit One Billion Rising San Diego or their Facebook Page for all the San Diego details.

~Dr. Jenn Gunsaullus, San Diego, CA -- Sociologist, Sex Coach, Sexologist, Sexuality Speaker

How to Be More Vibrantly You!

What does it mean to live "vibrantly?" I looked up the formal definition recently, and read that "vibrant" means vigorous, lively, and vital, or pulsing with energy. This Friday, January 18, 2013, I will be speaking at a women's symposium on women's health, called Vibrantly You: Women's Wellbeing Symposium. This event is about helping women feel more alive both inside and out.

Gratefully women's health has been getting much greater attention in recent years, and there is a lot of research about how to be our most healthy and vibrant selves. This women's health symposium is founded by Dr. Diana Hoppe, who will share her inspirational story, and also speak about what women need to know about heart health and overall wellness. Dr. Jane Bening will clear up myths about women's hormones and hormone replacement therapy, and Dr. Tess Mauricio will speak about developing beauty on the inside and outside.

I will be wrapping up the lectures with an interative presenation about bringing mindfulness into your life for more fulfilling sexuality and greater passion! We'll complete the event with a parel discussion, fielding questions from the audience. I think when it comes down to it, the moments that we feel most alive are the most exciting and the most meaningful. However, it can be difficult to get out of the ruts and resentments of every day life. This event promises to stir things up and give women knowledge and tools to pulse with energy!

Vibranty You, Friday, January 18, 2013, 8am - 12:30pm, La Costa Resort, Carlsbad, CA.

As a friend of Dr. Jenn, you can receive a $22 discount with this "R & D" code. Register at the Vibranty You website, and I'll see you this Friday!

~Dr. Jenn Gunsaullus, San Diego, CA -- Sociologist, Sex Coach, Sexuality Speaker, Sexologist

Sex During the Holidays & Vibrantly You

Why are sex and intimacy during the holidays important and helpful? And how can you make it a priority? I was interviewed along with Dr. Diana Hoppe, my colleague who is the founder of the Vibrantly You: Women's Wellbeing Symposium, on San Diego Living today. Dr. Diana shares research on how sex is actually healthy for us, I offer tips for how to bring intimacy into the holiday season, and we discuss the Vibrantly You Symposium on January 18, 2013.

~Dr. Jenn Gunsaullus, San Diego, CA -- Sexologist, Sex Coach, Sexuality Speaker, Sociologist

4 Ways Improv Comedy is like Sex Coaching

“The first rule of improv: Don’t deny.”

On June 23, this year, I walked into my first improv class at the National Comedy Theater in San Diego. This Wednesday, November 28, I will perform a live improv show with my fellow classmates, in completion of my improv training. I signed up for these classes for skill building as a public speaker, but was surprised to also find a number of life lessons relevant to my work as a sex therapist and relationship counselor.

1. Yes, and…  The first rule we learned was not to deny anything another player says, but to build on whatever they’ve added to the scene, through a “yes, and…” mentality. This means that I could have an idea and vision of where to take a scene and it will never work out that way. This is a nice reminder in relationships: if you find yourself arguing to be right, want things your way, or are just generally disagreeable, perhaps a shift to a “yes mentality” could breathe some new life into your partnership. What would happen if you spent a day saying, “yes, and…” to all your partner’s ideas and suggestions? I guarantee it would be a unique experience.

2. Spontaneity and mindfulness. Improv is different than stand-up comedy because the humor is based on spontaneous interactions between the players, not pre-determined stories and jokes. Improv is a prime example of being in the moment with another person, and building a scene, from moment to moment. Mindfulness is awareness in the moment, without judgment. Being mindful allows the improv players to be flexible and go with the flow.

I am always teaching about mindfulness with my clients for personal growth, improved communication, and enjoying pleasure in the bedroom. If we are distracted or caught up in our mind chatter, we can’t be present in the moment or truly enjoy our partner. If we aren’t aware of our thoughts, emotions, and sensations, we can’t know our triggers or patterns and how to alter them. When we practice mindfulness in our relationships, we stop dragging the past into the present and are able to respond to what’s happening in that moment.

3. Fresh Choice. One of the games we play in improv is called Fresh Choice. We ask for a random suggestion from the audience for something like a sport, occupation, or relationship between two people. With only that information, we start creating a scene together. There is a referee, however, who has ultimate control over the scene by calling out “fresh choice!” after any spoken line. If the referee doesn’t like the new line, they can keep calling “fresh choice” until they do.

A few weeks ago I was working with a couple around how to handle anger and frustration in healthier ways. We had already talked about considering a new perspective on the situations that were triggering them. It occurred to me that if they could only be reminded to make a “fresh choice,” they could break their habits and try something new. I mentioned this improv game and suggested they gently suggest “fresh choice” to assist in each other’s creativity. They were thrilled to have a game to use to work on their tough personal growth topics, with humor and creativity instead of self-doubt and frustration.

4. Fear and confusion are OK.  Just keep going. Fear and confusion were common experiences for me in class. What am I doing? I don’t get it? What should I do now? But it didn’t matter. My fear was there, but I had to keep going to interact with my classmates and keep trying. This advice is imperative to any coaching or counseling situation, let alone coaching for intimacy topics related to our deepest insecurities and needs. Being afraid is natural around the vulnerable topics of intimacy. The presence of fear doesn’t indicate a wrong path, it just means what you’re working on is hard. Acknowledging your fears and choosing to move forward is a key to personal growth. Sometimes we make asses of ourselves. But if we keep a good sense of humor, don’t take ourselves too seriously, and keep trying, everyone benefits.

If you’d like to watch an improv comedy show or take improv classes for yourself, I highly recommend the National Comedy Theater!

~Dr. Jenn Gunsaullus, San Diego, CA -- Sex Coach, Sexuality Speaker, Sexologist, Sociologist

TEDxWomen in San Diego!

I am thrilled and honored to be attending my first TEDx function, as well as speaking at the event! I love the TED mission of "ideas worth spreading," and I take that seriously as I'm preparing my presentation about Sex: Mind Full or Mindful?

TEDxWomen is a TEDx event organized by the Paley Center for Media that focuses on women and women’s issues. TEDxWomen events are TEDx events hosted around the live webcast of TEDxWomen and feature local speakers, while being part of a global community of women. The theme for this event is "The Space Between."

To read about the speakers or purchase your tickets, vist TEDxWomen America's Finest City. As a friend of mine, you can receive a "friends & family" 10% discount by using "tedfriends" as your promo code.

~Dr. Jenn Gunsaullus, San Diego, CA -- Sex Coach, Sexuality Speaker, Sociologist, Sexologist

Love Campus Tour - SDSU - Free!

FREE EVENT - Oct. 9, 2012, San Diego State University

I will be speaking about Keys to Erotic Play (including toys) and my friend and colleague, Jill McDevitt, will speak about safer sex and orgasm! Love Campus is a new organization teaching college students how to become sex toy consultants.

~Dr. Jenn Gunsaullus, San Diego, CA -- Sex Therapist, Sexuality Speaker, Sexologist, Sociologist