Couples Workshops in San Diego

Being in a relationship is a wonderful experience AND it takes awareness, communication, and work to stay on track. I'm offering weekend workshops for couples to improve their communication and get them back on the same page in their commitment to the things that matter.

Benefits of Attending:

  • Improve communication skills
  • Learn to cultivate mindfulness techniques
  • Increase play and creativity in your relationship
  • Learn to speak each other's love language
  • Focus on appreciation and acknowledgements
  • Deepen intimacy
  • Learn to focus on sensual enjoyment
  • Learn how to check-in with what's most important

Next Weekend Couples Workshop:

April 4-6, 2014

Friday night: 6-9pm
Saturday: Specific activities on your own (as determined Friday night)
Sunday: 1-5pm

For more information, visit this page for Weekend Couples Workshops in San Diego.

~Dr. Jenn Gunsaullus, San Diego Sociologist, Sexuality Speaker, Intimacy Counselor

Conscious Dating in San Diego

What is conscious dating? Hopefully we already want to be awake for our dates, so this is a different type of consciousness. By conscious dating, I mean being aware, vulnerable, authentic, and compassionate. When you think about all the game-playing and uncertainty around dating, you can already tell how different this approach it.

On Friday, February 28, I'll be speaking about Conscious Dating as part of the Pacific College of Oriential Medicine's (PCOM) monthly Pop!TALK series. Although you're welcome to sit back, listen, and soak it in, I'm looking forward to audience interaction so we can all partake in furthering this important conversation.

Tickets are only $5 in advance and PCOM is located in the Mission Valley area of San Diego. Email poptalk@pacificcollege.edu to reserve your $5 ticket, or pay $10 at the door. Doors open 6:30pm. See you there!

~Dr. Jenn Gunsaullus, San Diego Sexologist, Sexuality Speaker, Sociologist

A Hot Date with My Vagina

This is not actually about MY vagina (sorry to disappoint ;), but that of a courageous reporter for the San Diego CityBeat magazine. Alex Zaragoza interviewed me this month about women's pleasure, masturbation, sensuality, mindfulness, and empowerment. She listened to my free 10-minute guided "Meditative Masturbation" audio file, and then set up a sexy date night for her personal sexual pleasure. My favorite line from her article? "Take my vagina out; treat her all nice; wine her, dine her, vibrator-time her."

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Sex—it's great, right? I want it all the time. It's basically a vitamin that I really want to take daily because I know it will make me feel good. Unfortunately, like my actual vitamins, I'll go days, or sometimes even weeks, without getting my Vitamin D(ick), leaving me with a severe lack of bone density. Long workdays, general fatigue and laptops in bed seem to be the boner killers in my life these days. Laptop in bed, libido = dead.

As a result, I've taken matters into my own hands. I masturbate often. We should never feel embarrassed or ashamed about masturbating. Shame only strengthens fears instilled by prudish, women-hating jerks.

That said, I don't treat masturbating like something special, nor do many of the heterosexual women I asked. It's more of an I need to get laid but my boyfriend / husband / sex idiot is woefully tired / working / in the drunk tank. I guess I'll just knock one off the wrist before making dinner. 

When it comes to sex, women tend to want some level of romance or excitement. We make a date special by dressing up, setting the mood with boot-knocking jams, wearing perfume and all that other good stuff that incites a bone session. However, when it comes to sex with ourselves, we often just go for the quick-and-easy fix in between the millions of things we seem to have going on at any given time.

I'll admit that my masturbation sessions usually involve lying in bed in a slovenly fashion with Parks & Recreation paused on the TV. It's not the sexiest thing in the world. But lighting candles and dimming the lights to rub one out seems cheesy.

Dr. Jenn Gunsaullus believes otherwise. The sex therapist says women should treat masturbation as they would sex with anyone. I visited Dr. Jenn's den, her Pacific Beach home, where she also sees clients, to talk about meditative masturbation. With a friendly, open expression, Dr. Jenn told me things I've always known: Masturbation not only feels amazing; it's also a way to understand and love your body. You gain insight into your sexuality and sensuality, and, over time, the sex you have improves. However, knowing those things doesn't mean you make the experience intimate, as is the case with my lazy ass.

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Read the entire article "A Hot Date with My Vagina" by Alex Zaragoza at San Diego CityBeat.

~Dr. Jenn Gunsaullus, San Diego Sexologist, Sociologist, Sexuality Speaker

Is Wonder Woman your Sexual Archetype?

With Comic Con in full swing in downtown San Diego right now, I’m having flashbacks to Wonder Woman from my childhood. And since I’m in the sex field, not surprisingly this progressed to me reflecting on Wonder Woman as a sexual archetype. An archetype is a constellation of personality traits that form a recognizable character, such as the Mother, the Warrior, or the Teacher. If someone asked you to enact one of these roles, you’d have a good idea of what to do because they make sense to us.

I expand on this concept of archetypes to include sexual archetypes who can help us grow in our sexual identities. Do you like who you are in the bedroom? Do you express yourself authentically and fully in sexually encounters? Do you bring the best of you to sex? If not, a sexual archetype can be a tool for growth.

Due to the stigmas and discomfort we have around full sexual expression in the United States, sexual expression can often be stifled. If you have a fear of sexual rejection or fear of sexual judgment for being authentically sexually you (who grows up in this society and doesn’t?!), it can feel terrifying to try something different.

One way to break through your sexual blocks is to choose a sexual archetype with whom you identify. While we have archetype understandings of the Seductress or the Whore or the Goddess, I like to extend this to our cultural icons. What Hollywood star, movie or television character, or book persona exudes a sexual energy you’d like to embody? This is beyond role-playing because you are pulling out parts of yourself and developing comfort with them, with the intention of long-term integration.

It’s important to recognize the difference here between “performance” and “authentic” sexual expression. I’m not suggesting that you “perform porn star,” but that you tap into an energy of expression that resonates deeply with you, but has been blocked or never developed.  An archetype allows a big shift in perspective that offers permission to access and express new depths of your sexual being. So who do you want to be? If you're interested in learning more about the origins of the Wonder Woman character, check out my video from awhile ago about Wonder Woman.

~Dr. Jenn Gunsaullus, San Diego, CA -- Sociologist, Sexologist, Sexuality Speaker

(Photo of Lynda Carter as Wonder Woman from: http://bestofbothworldsaz.com/2011/03/12/wonder-woman-lynda-carter-an-arizona-beauty-2/)