If you’ve never touched yourself, or haven’t touched yourself since getting married or having kids, then we highly suggest you read ahead. "Our bodies grow, change, and shift over time, and masturbating can be a way of keeping in touch and staying acquainted with our bodies and our pleasure," says Jennifer Gunsaullus, Ph.D., sociologist and relationship and intimacy counselor in San Diego….Read More
Blog - Essays, Articles, Videos, and Tips
As a society, we are talking more openly about sex and sexuality, and there is increasing tolerance for sexual differences. However, the increasing public dialogue around sexual topics can lead both women and men to believe they are not keeping up...Read More
This is not actually about MY vagina (sorry to disappoint ;), but that of a courageous reporter for the San Diego CityBeat magazine. Alex Zaragoza interviewed me this month about women's pleasure, masturbation, sensuality, mindfulness, and empowerment. She listened to my free 10-minute guided "Meditative Masturbation" audio file, and then set up a sexy date night for her personal sexual pleasure. My favorite line from her article? "Take my vagina out; treat her all nice; wine her, dine her, vibrator-time her."
Sex—it's great, right? I want it all the time. It's basically a vitamin that I really want to take daily because I know it will make me feel good. Unfortunately, like my actual vitamins, I'll go days, or sometimes even weeks, without getting my Vitamin D(ick), leaving me with a severe lack of bone density. Long workdays, general fatigue and laptops in bed seem to be the boner killers in my life these days. Laptop in bed, libido = dead.
As a result, I've taken matters into my own hands. I masturbate often. We should never feel embarrassed or ashamed about masturbating. Shame only strengthens fears instilled by prudish, women-hating jerks.
That said, I don't treat masturbating like something special, nor do many of the heterosexual women I asked. It's more of an I need to get laid but my boyfriend / husband / sex idiot is woefully tired / working / in the drunk tank. I guess I'll just knock one off the wrist before making dinner.
When it comes to sex, women tend to want some level of romance or excitement. We make a date special by dressing up, setting the mood with boot-knocking jams, wearing perfume and all that other good stuff that incites a bone session. However, when it comes to sex with ourselves, we often just go for the quick-and-easy fix in between the millions of things we seem to have going on at any given time.
I'll admit that my masturbation sessions usually involve lying in bed in a slovenly fashion with Parks & Recreation paused on the TV. It's not the sexiest thing in the world. But lighting candles and dimming the lights to rub one out seems cheesy.
Dr. Jenn Gunsaullus believes otherwise. The sex therapist says women should treat masturbation as they would sex with anyone. I visited Dr. Jenn's den, her Pacific Beach home, where she also sees clients, to talk about meditative masturbation. With a friendly, open expression, Dr. Jenn told me things I've always known: Masturbation not only feels amazing; it's also a way to understand and love your body. You gain insight into your sexuality and sensuality, and, over time, the sex you have improves. However, knowing those things doesn't mean you make the experience intimate, as is the case with my lazy ass.
Read the entire article "A Hot Date with My Vagina" by Alex Zaragoza at San Diego CityBeat.
~Dr. Jenn Gunsaullus, San Diego Sexologist, Sociologist, Sexuality Speaker
I'm proud to announce the release of my first ebook, with my co-author Dr. Diana Hoppe. Dr. Diana is a board certified OB/GYN, and we've merged our perspectives on women's sexuality to write Am I Normal? A Woman's Guide to Female Sexuality. We think all women could benefit from reading this short ebook, but it is specifically targeted to younger women from 18 - 30 years of age.
Chapter one explores the history (and herstory) of women's genitals, and chapter two teaches you the low down about down there. In chapter three you get to take the time to reflect on your own sexual journey. Chapters four through six guide you through the messages you learned about sex and gender growing up, body image and self-esteem, and sensuality and masturbation. Each chapter is followed by a worksheet to guide your journey through exploring your own sexuality.
~Dr. Jenn Gunsaullus, San Diego, CA -- Sex Therapist, Sociologist, Sexuality Speaker, Sexologist