Dr. Jenn Gunsaullus, sociologist and sexologist, writes her sex advice and gender commentary blog. The sex blog includes relationship advice, free sex education videos, sex tips, sex-positive mindfulness, and podcast interviews.
Is the label "sex addiction" helpful or hurtful? Dr. Jenn Gunsaullus discusses this topic with Dr. Neil Cannon, and he shares how a therapist can help in a relationship where sexual actions are a concern.
~Dr. Jenn Gunsaullus, San Diego, CA -- Sexologist, Sex Coach, Sexuality Speaker
Is Singles Awareness Day just a silly day, to make fun of Valentine's Day and its emphasis on coupledom? Or is it a legitimate reason to celebrate being single and help folks feel better the day after Valentine's Day? I'm guessing that it started as a joke (this day's acronym is S.A.D., afterall), but I think there's actually a lot of value in recognizing this topic.
We learn to put great emphasis on being in a relationship, and that this form of expression completes us. While relationships can be amazing, the good ones take a lot of work and perseverence, and sometimes bring out the worst in us. If you notice that you're feeling down because you wish you had a significant other, take a bit of time to feel that sadness, but don't get stuck in the wallowing. Don't overlook the benefits of being single. Make sure you are prioritizing taking care of yourself, something that is often easier to do when single. Being single is a great opportunity to focus on your purpose and mission in life, your personal growth, and what personally lights you up.
For example, on a day like Singles Awareness Day, or ANY day that you want to take care of yourself, create opportunities to learn new things, challenge yourself, surround yourself with friends, and just have fun. For example, take an art class that has always interested you, join an adult sports league, take a language class, or invite a few friends over for a wine or beer tasting. These are ways to feel like you're in control of your life, while doing something you enjoy and sharing time with others. Also, write a love letter to yourself, describing all your strengths and what you appreciate about you. Treat yourself in a romantic way, just like you would someone else. I have no doubt you deserve it.
The bottom line? Don't wait for things to happen - make something happen! And appreciate every stage and step in life.
~Dr. Jenn Gunsaullus, San Diego, CA -- Sexologist, Sex Coach, Sociologist, Sexuality Speaker
For Valentine's Day this year, take a stand for love in a new way. Stand up, demand change, and dance.
ONE IN THREE WOMEN ON THE PLANET
WILL BE RAPED OR BEATEN IN HER LIFETIME.
ONE BILLION WOMEN VIOLATED IS AN ATROCITY.
ONE BILLION WOMEN DANCING IS A REVOLUTION.
From Foundation for Women: http://www.foundationforwomen.org/On V-Day’s 15th Anniversary, February 14, 2013, we are inviting ONE BILLION women and those who love them to WALK OUT, DANCE, RISE UP, and DEMAND an end to this violence. ONE BILLION RISING will move the earth, activating women and men across every country. V-Day wants the world to see our collective strength, our numbers, our solidarity across borders.
What does ONE BILLION look like? On February 14, 2013, it will look like a REVOLUTION.
ONE BILLION RISING IS:
A global strike
An invitation to dance
A call to men and women to refuse to participate in the status quo until rape and rape culture ends
An act of solidarity, demonstrating to women the commonality of their struggles and their power in numbers
A refusal to accept violence against women and girls as a given
A new time and a new way of being
San Diego details:
2:14pm - Walk out of work
4:30pm - March downtown starting at City Hall
6:30pm - Speakers, entertainers, & dancing at Organ Pavillion in Balboa Park
Please visit One Billion Rising San Diego or their Facebook Page for all the San Diego details.
~Dr. Jenn Gunsaullus, San Diego, CA -- Sociologist, Sex Coach, Sexologist, Sexuality Speaker
GetLusty’s Valentine Giveaway!
I attended a sex conference last September in Long Beach, CA. While hanging out by the food and drink table (my usual location) at a private party, and desperately trying to find a mixer for my whiskey on the rocks, I met Erica Grigg, the founder of the GetLusty for Couples website. She shared her vision of a website that served as a hub for useful information and skill-building around spicing up marriages, building stronger relationships, and improving intimacy lives overall. Shortly after the conference I became one of their contributing sexperts.
For Valentine's Day, they're offering a chance to win on their newly redesigned website. Read more about their free site below, and sign up to get access to all they have to offer! Sign up here with a chance to win one of 20 VIP memberships and 30 Exclusive GetLusty memberships.
GetLusty is a site with over 700 articles, including advice from world-renowned sexperts. Couples-friendly, ethical and eco-minded businesses are added daily to our site. There are special deals and discounts to all members from these sex positive businesses. Exclusive and VIP members get even more access to articles and bigger deals and discounts for sexy and romantic products.
GetLusty is committed to sex positive information for couples. We feature advice and inspiration for every preference, orientation, fetish and interest. Our newly launched site is unique in its field. We even have games you can play with you lover to earn points toward more access to articles and discounts. Who knew monogamy could be this fun? Check out GetLusty here!
~Dr. Jenn Gunsaullus, San Diego, CA -- Sex Coach, Sexuality Speaker, Sociologist, Sexologist
"Now class, please turn to page 197 and read out loud about Ana's first blow job."
That would make for a pretty entertaining and red-faced college class! However, Professor Stef Woods' spring class at American University, entitled "Contemporary American Culture: The Fifty Shades Triology," is not about titillation. Some students may be disappointed to find out that the course has a heavy reading load and much analysis and critical thinking about sexuality, gender, sexual health, addiction, and domestic violence in American society, as well as lessons in writing, editing, marketing, advertising, and public relations.
News of her class has been picked up internationally in the media, with comment sections flooded by attacking remarks. I've noticed that people love to get on their high horses about "what we pay for our children to learn," or "what our tax dollars are used for." Don't get your panties and boxer shorts in a bunch, folks. Much of the valuable role of college is guiding teenagers into adulthood and offering skills in business, critical thinking, relationships, and the world. A course like this creates a context for real life learning...learning and navigating the media-saturated and sexuality-saturated world that these students inhabit.
I have personal experience teaching a class like this. Back in 2004 and 2005 I taught a course at Cal State San Marcos about Eve Ensler's play "The Vagina Monologues." We decontructed sexuality, gender, race, and bodies. There was also a strong experiential component, as students wrote their own personal monologues and presented a Vagina Fest with three performances of the play. They learned critical thinking skills, public speaking, personal reflection, and compassion.
I know Stef Woods personally; I interviewed her in 2011 for my In the Den with Dr. Jenn video series and also presented with her at the 2012 Momentum Conference in Washington, DC. Gratetfully a recent interview on MSNBC allowed Stef to speak to the academic content and media skills development that are foundational to her class. Take a look at the MSNBC video below:
~Dr. Jenn Gunsaullus, San Diego, CA -- Sex Coach, Sociologist, Sexuality Speaker, Sexologist
From: http://www.salon.com/2012/01/04/the_sexual_resolution/It’s a few weeks into the new year – have your resolutions already fallen by the wayside? Did you swear off fatty foods, cigarettes, and excessive drinking, or commit yourself to lose weight, eat healthier, and keep a budget, only to find yourself slipping into old habits? These are all worthy intentions for the new year, but I think a different approach, especially when applied to improving sex and relationships, can keep you on track this whole year long.
Choose one relationship or sexual improvement goal this year, and continually work towards developing that. For example, do you and your partner struggle when it comes to communication? If so, each month create a small plan about how you’re going to work on that. Perhaps you could start in January with each writing a list of your needs, irritations, and resentments and kindly discuss them with each other. Then in February you can each choose two needs and present a plan on how they could be better met in your relationship. Each month you can add on a new component or communication mode. There’s no right or wrong way to do this; just keep plugging along.
Of if your goal for the year is to learn more about your sexual pleasure, desire, and arousal, choose a different aspect of this to explore each month. You could start with reading through Amazon reviews on books about sexual pleasure, and find one that piques your interest. Next month you could take a class, have a vulnerable conversation with a friend, purchase a new sexual toy, try a lubricant, etc. Anything that builds towards your big picture goal of sexual pleasure knowledge.
One of the most important ways to stay true to your new year’s goals is to have a plan and review it regularly for sustainability and accountability. Set your phone alarm for every Sunday evening as a reminder to review your intention and reflect on whether you’ve taken steps towards or away from that. Then write down ideas for that week of how you’re going to take a step in the right direction. Intentions are a work in progress, so continue to identify what works and what doesn’t for you, and apply that feedback to create success.
~Dr. Jenn Gunsaullus, San Diego, CA -- Sociologist, Sex Coach, Sexuality Speaker, Sexologist
Dr. Jenn is a sociologist and relationship & sexuality speaker who challenges our cultural beliefs around sex, sexual consent, gender roles, and health intimacy, with a mindfulness and compassionate approach. Her site includes a sex blog, free sex education videos, sexuality speaking information, and mindfulness resources.
