All year round is a good time for GALentine's Day

I really do like the idea of prioritizing celebrating time with our girlfriends. The day before Valentine's Day has been dubbed Galentine's Day (from the show Parks & Recreation), but I think just like Valentine's Day, it's important to celebrate this kind of love, friendship, and connection all year round. Although you might not always be treated with the surprise of Chippendales' dancers on your next gal pal outing ;) We had a lot of laughs on this segment on San Diego Living!

The video is not embedding properly from the San Diego Living website, but you can click here to watch about Galentine's Day on their site!

~Dr. Jenn Gunsaullus, San Diego Sexologist, Sex Speaker, Sociologist

Top 5 Questions Women Ask a Sex Counselor

Sex is fun…and complicated! While there are a lot of biological components of sexuality, there are also a lot of social, mental and emotional aspects. These often get in the way of enjoying the pleasures of our bodies and the potential for deep connections with others. As a Relationship and Intimacy Counselor, I receive many questions from women about their sex lives; below are five of the most common questions I receive.

1. Am I normal? Is what we’re doing normal?

These questions come from a fear of being judged or not feeling good enough. There may be sexual statistical averages around activities and frequency and tastes, but what really matters is what you like and don’t like, and the same for your partner. You could be perfectly “average” and “normal,” but still have a miserable sex life! Each individual and couple needs to create their own “normal” based on their preferences, needs and desires.

2. Why don’t I feel desire any more? How can I feel passion again?

It is really common for women in long-term relationships to lose their desire. Desire is a tricky thing that we tend to take for granted in the early stages of a relationship. But once those neurochemicals wear off, most women and couples don’t know what to do. The first step is to redefine desire from something that happens to you, to something that you can cultivate. What primes your pump? By this I mean, what can your partner do that helps you feel open to being sexual? Is it doing the dishes for you, massaging your shoulders, or having an eye-to-eye conversation? Focus on what makes you feel loved and nurtured and also makes your partner seem appealing. The second thing you can do is to take responsibility for your own desire. What puts you in the mood, such as reading erotica, fantasizing, or touching yourself? Do these things regularly to kick-start your libido.

3. How can I request my sexual needs without feeling embarrassed?

Read the rest of this blog that I wrote for the Softcup Blog HERE.

~Dr. Jenn Gunsaullus, San Diego Sexologist, Sex Speaker, Sociologist

For Women Only: 3 Tips to Take Care of YOU!

I don't think women take enough care of themselves. That's why, for this Valentine's season of sexy love, I'm encouraging women to prioritize themselves with three tips for nurturing. Thank you Softcup Menstrual Cup company for hosting my Valentine's videos this February!

~Dr. Jenn Gunsaullus, San Diego Sexologist, Sociologist, Sex Speaker

New Year, New Vaginal Muscles

Why might you want to strengthen your pelvic floor muscles? Is doing kegel exercises with a toy easier? And what's the best way to do this? I discuss how toys like the "Hello Bow" from Hello Cheri can assist in creating a daily pelvic floor strengthening routine! Visit the Hello Cheri website and you can send a free mini vibrator to a friend with any purchase!

~Dr. Jenn Gunsaullus, San Diego Sexologist, Sociologist, Sex Speaker

TEDx Talk on Sex & Female Sexual Shame

Discussing Sexual Shame in TEDxTalk on SexSexual shame impacts us all. I delved into sexual shame around the world, specifically for women, in my second TEDx Talk, presented on September 27, 2014, at TEDxPhoenixville in the suburbs of Philadelphia. I led the audience on a journey that explored global perspectives, their personal experiences, and how we all have a role in doing something different to improve female sexual empowerment. I really do believe that we're all in this together, and that compassion towards ourselves, our partners, our communities, and people around the world is vital regarding sexuality. Please spread the word!

~Dr. Jenn Gunsaullus, San Diego Sexologist, Sociologist, Sex Speaker, Sex Counselor

TEDxPhoenixville 2014 Photos

Sex, Drugs, and Rock 'n Roll? Sign me up! That was the theme of the 5th annual TEDxPhoenixville event on September 27, 2014. I brought a heavier slant to the theme as a speaker about female sexual disempowerment, shame, and personal responsibility, and concluded by giving the audience a voice to take a stand for something different. It was really cool to have Kelly Stoetzel, the Content Director for TED, as our event emcee. The Colonial Theater (site of The Blob movie) did a wonderful job organizing the event (with the help of over 50 volunteers). And we had the last-minute bonus of a performance by a real rock 'n roller - Eric Bazilian of The Hooters! It was such a fun, powerful, community-minded day, I wanted to share some of the photos with you here :)

~Dr. Jenn Gunsaullus, San Diego Sexologist, Sociologist, Sexuality Speaker